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Dear Ohio Department of the Treasury,

I’m an English Scholar that has lived on Disability now for some 15 years with a mental illness known as Bipolar Type 1. I get $700 a month in disability and I get $200 a month in SNAP Food Credit. I am poor. I’m something typical for a University Graduate that graduated in 2010 and graduated from high school in 1999. I went to school for 10 years, studied abroad for a year and ended up in a government program that forgave all of my student debt and left me with the impression that this was some kind set up. 

I’ll cut to the quick of it. I also scored at genius levels on several intelligence tests so the same people that are telling me I am mentally ill are also the same people that are telling me they have no client more intelligent than myself in their roster and I think something I askew.

I apply for work but I don’t get much response I assume it’s because I’m for lack of a better way of putting it Roman Catholic and most people are Protestant in their orientation. I just assume I have issues because of some kind of subtle cultural difference.

I’m also of the mind and I thought this 6 years ago. WHY? Would the entire world media focus on the President of the United States of America and make him the world champion world leader in all news that is news and why is there so little attention paid to the Leadership in the Treasury? It would seem like the Treasurer would be more important than the President. I could be wrong though.

I have a small business at https://nickspoems.com where I am in line to approach a business development firm and discern precisely how on the smallest budget I am legally allowed to lead a life with that, ( yeah as I understand I am legally required by law to have cash on me to survive , I can’t just start digging a hole or cutting down trees to get into the economy the way I would like. If I knew I could start digging a hole in my folks back yard and look for metal and precious rocks I would do that. I’m not above digging into the ground with my bare hands, I’m just not legally allowed to dig a hole even though I own the land there are municipal laws. ) I have been given the impression that after 8 years of real world study that for the most part the difference between someone important and someone that is in the audience and just a mark to release funds from is the amount of cash that is in the bank.

I was born with nothing like I wasn’t born with cash in my bank account and as far as I can tell I have to engage in some kind of rote work for some guy that wants to restrict my freedom and turn me into widget so that he can make his money off me and I get a percentage of what I make and I get the impression that I can’t even do business with authority when I get a job. Like I get the impression that the job market is exclusively a major adult baby sitting operation that treats work as just the thing you give someone to do to occupy their time in vetted standard corporate offices.

I’m disillusioned from 8 years of being a hardcore bachelor and I don’t know much about the corporate world or the world of entertainment but I do know how to write.

I thought I would write you the Treasurer of the State of Ohio …

In my thought experiments I have cash down as really basic civilizing tool that like our dependence on cash is evidence that we need extensive training in how business should operate. I look at cash like it’s training tool like in intelligence and art I just work for people and don’t talk about cash too often because I get paid.

I don’t know I just know that I need to explore life in a way that is with profits in mind and well the University made perfect sense to me I knew the rules I knew the etiquette but this real world is weird. This one guy jeff bezos has a trillion dollars and he’s wearing normal clothing and I don’t know precisely what I want to write you. I just know that I can’t just live and even though I went to university and I write more than most likely anyone in Cincinnati and have noticed that the field of publishing is jacked up with book stores clothing and heady competition to the printed word is now online and there’s SO MUCH competition to be read that getting published isn’t even the goal right now.

I know this there’s no real way to get published in Cincinnati Ohio unless you go with a New York City Literary Agent and a New York City Publisher. I’m just curious why there is no literary agent in the state of ohio and why 1/6th of the businesses in New York City is in media and content creation and there is well no film industry or television industry in the state of ohio to speak of. There’s no soap opera filmed in  Cincinnati, Ohio.

It’s like I’m having a hard time finding work because Ohio is missing some vital economic and labor oriented creative industries. It’s like Ohio is incomplete. I know more about New York City than I care to and it would be nice to see some midwestern creativity LIVE and FILMED BEFORE A STUDIO AUDIENCE on television or on Netflix.

I’m just curious how can 200 years of ohio history go by and I’m the guys that’s like in 2019 that points out we’re missing some amenities.

I’m not moving to New York City because I’m not going to be annoyed shitless for the rest of my life by some banal people that almost know what they’re talking about.

I’m going to keep developing nickspoems.com and ideally make sales on my books and keep writing stream of consciousness writing and I’m just going to be a dude.

Like I’m Cincinnati’s dude and a long time ago after coming home from England my moms enrolled me at talbert house and on paper it looks like I was complicit but really I was cajoled into a system that just continually and repeatedly placed me in mental health hospitalization to treat my manic symptoms and this went on for 20 years until just last year and it might happen again I might get hospitalized again.

I don’t know where to go. I know I don’t fit in in Cincinnati but I have no economic resources to move to another city. I’m trapped. I need cash to move to another where I’ll fit into the culture better and more succinctly wherever the fuck that is but Ohio has me down as so mentally ill I deserve compensation for it being impossible for me to make over $16,000 a year to be declared mentally sane  but no one is hiring me because culturally I am just far too different. Everyone is hiring like minded people and asking people to take IQ tests so that they can guarantee they are hiring a like minded person even asking them to take a Meyers briggs test and I’m thinking I need to move to Europe. I don’t think I’m an American and clearly if I was an American I would have some kind rights or something like a reason this nation is great would be obvious to me but they tested me into genius and now all I know is I’m not on a plane to London to link up with my 20 years solid best friend to engage England in discourse and to pony around there.

this state accused me of grandiose thinking and fast talking that is my mental illness and I take medication and fiscally I know I am fucked.

I have to generate some kind of fiscal miracle on a start up budget of $200 a month and I’m addicted to smoking so I really only have like $90 dollars to work with every month to generate bigger business.

I don’t know what to say.

I thought I would write you.

Are you aware of any way that is basic and simple to make money. I can’t imagine this economy is strictly based on sales like is there a form I can fill that would change my life? That’s what I really want to know like is there a secret ATM Machine that just spits out $100 bills?

Can I get some counseling on how I can go about my life more intelligently so that by the time my folks die I’ll be independent? I’m almost 40 and in need of fiscal independence and I only sort of know how to go about doing that but it’s like a magic trick. I approached a business association and they didn’t respond to my concept of starting a public private library that would make NCH look good and coffee shops are not responding to my business plan that we partner in an advertising supported literary journal, and the local church just said they didn’t need help with fund raising and I’m running into all kinds of brick walls.

I don’t know where I fit in but Cincinnati is not it.

And new York city annoys the shit out of me. And la seems like it would be a retarded place to live. I’m thinking Canada is too cold. I just really think it’s time the USA lost another author that for the life of it had no clue what was wrong with anyone but there is something so wrong with the USA that it thinks there’s something wrong with me and it can go fuck itself. I got better shit to do than teach adults how to read which is what I’m supposed to do with my degree.

I am just really insulted by the state ohio that it would point that I am it’s most intelligent mental health patient and it would point it doesn’t think I would be considered mentally ill in new York city and then it just does me anyways.

Like there might not be anything wrong with me other than a history of abuse.

You people suck.

I hope money makes sense to you I really hope it does because our entire hierarchy of importance in this nation is based on who has the most cash and whoever has the most cash is the most important and the shit just simply comes off a printing press.

I don’t know I got lost writing this. I started thinking of myself.

I just know.

As I age it’s starting to look more like there’s something wrong with you whoever are and I got some kind of free ride because god loves me.

Sincerely,

nicholas

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