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I’m sitting here typing in MUSIC REVIEW WEBSITE and I found your name at the top of this list and apparently you write about music and how it affects lives.

I’ll tell you a story. 30 years ago back in the 80’s, I’m 38, I would go on vacations with my folks and my siblings and I’d be sitting there on towels to keep my legs from burning on the hot red vinyl cushioning of my folks red station wagon. Yeah we had a red station wagon. It was the only red car on the road. Hey next time you youth go to a car dealership inquire about a station wagon. Cool as shit car.

But i remember how I got started in music. It was going to a gas station and buying cassette tapes like Aailiyah, Boys II Men, Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer from the cassettes at the store and then just sitting listening to music for 12 hours with my sony cassette player. It was nice.

I went on to buy my first CD which was the MTV Buzz Bin and Nirvana Unplugged. I went on to be a regular CD customer. Noteworthy CD’s I bought were Goo Goo Dolls, DJ Shadow, Rakim, and Silverchair.

I remember giving all of my CD’s to my best friend to save my life from going to hell when a youth pastor conned me into believing that listening to secular music would send me to hell so I was like fuck this dude a marine he would know and I gave all my rap and rock albums to Mark Kerbo and then I started buying Christian Music of which Jars of Clay, Ghoti Hook, Supertones, Insyderz, and Klank were noteworthy, and Plumb. I was deep into christian music. Planned a Christian Rock Concert.

then Napster came out and I downloaded all my tracks like bob dylan’s the Hurricane, aphex twin’s pac man song, and sarah mclachlan and dave mathews band and sting.

I lived in london for a year and smoked weed for the first time at 20 on my 20th birthday and i would say i was more in cultural studies because i only rarely went to class but i did a lot of clubbing and saw the chemical brothers live in person at Fabric a noteworthy famous night club.

I went on to study gangster rap online on youtube listening to Jay Z , Fabolous, T.I., Loon and Eminem.

Now at 38 after a couple thousand hours of listening to music and having dealt with some troubles in life. I find that I have a love hate relationship with rap music. I love the music but like I hate the culture associated with it. Like something changed in the last 6 years I became an adult and I started thinking about the effects this music would have on youth. I see all the tattoos and and ignorant mindsets and I can’t even fathom why someone would go to a concert now.

I turned into someone that youth like you would say is a bad guy but I have the best of intentions in my personal life. I didn’t know what music was , I recorded some of my own music. I listened to music for years and then I started developing concern for the quality of life experience that people are receiving listening to this music.

I can be now found listening to BT and Moby and softer lighter music when as a kid I was into violent beats and loud noise music. I know my way around music now and I just really prefer smooth electronic music with no vocals.

There’s a thing now that i can live without. It’s the lead singer or MC. I think the Dj and the band are doing a great job but i’m tired of the vocalist.

I have a relationship with listening to music and it goes back decades.

I was just sitting here at my place at like 1 in the morning waiting for my mate to wake up in london so that we could get to work on this screen play / advertisement for his crepe stand. I’m the lead writer in this low budget film and it’s something I am putting a lot of effort into. I saw your magazine and thought I would write. I run and it’s just this small thing I developed last week. I’m mostly just fucking with the internet.

Like Takashi 6ix9ine is the most troublesome artist like he’s just blown way out of proportion to me but I don’t know what you kids saw in the music i grew up on but fuck I see a lot of alternative music in youth like Billie Eilish and Halsey. I notice the youth have a more abstract relationship with their band name and like with Machine Gun Kelly I notice that he’s too tattooed for his age and like I am concerned he’ll ever gain weight.

I met Nick Lachey when I was a teen at his folks house when i dated his exchange student and i was neighbors with Lantana for a couple of weeks at my last apartment.

I did stand up poetry for 10 years and won some awards.

I’ve listened I’ve recorded and now I’m on disability for being diagnosed with Bipolar Type 1 and I don’t know what that means i just know that people take me to the hospital when they think there is something wrong. It’s weird I doubt I’ll ever make anything of myself and it’s a sincere hope that I do but at 40 I’m concerned with life without my folks and am concerned with how I am going to survive.

I just thought I would write you a letter really out of boredom. Just saying Hi.

You’ve got a nice website and you made a list.

So yeah … music’s a hell of a thing i went from looking up to it, to looking at it, to mostly looking down on it. I’m listening to SLEEP on spotify right now and as for the CD’s I lost well apparently I lost them in the right time period because the internet has all the music I ever listened to so it’s like I never lost anything at all.

and melancholy and the infinite sadness by the smashing pumpkins is such a good album I can only listen to it every couple weeks.

University Graduate here … all kinds of life experience good bad frightening dangerous drug induced alcohol laden and the writing and all the writing that i do.

I just notice ya’ll hella doing well for your age and thought i would shoot you some history.

I’ve run into people that are adamant that music is fucking pointless there’s nothing you can do with it and i was just like this one time with someone that hated music altogether i was like you can listen to and he was like and what? i was like nothing that’s that’s what you do with music you listen to it and he was like that’s fucking retarded. Ran into someone that hated music once and they had no clue what it was for.

so yeah ….

that’s how music affected my life oh and the concerts i went to … I saw 3 Doors Down and Creed, Placebo, Less than Jake, Five Iron Frenzy, Supertones, Ghoti Hook, Stavesacre, Common Sense, Dj Spooky and Kool Keith. I didn’t go to as many concerts as I could have. It never occured to me to treat Bogart’s Concert Hall like a weekly thing like church or something. I could have gone to more concerts. I did perform at a lot of shows but I could have also gone to more concerts.

so yeah … i wrote this letter mostly for me but you get to read it too … I’ll be posting this on my site.



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