Science Fiction : It’s Fiction because it’s what DOESN’t Happen if I could assist your imagination somewhat in FICTION it’s about what doesn’t happen so the fact that I’m going to smoke a blunt with a robotic fairy and get the low down on what being a robot is will never happen unless an engineer concocts a lie and then it will seem like it’s true but FICTION is what does not happen and i’ll go ahead and write this universe so long as my page doesn’t freeze when I sign in to type and if i ever get the point where I can’t sign in and type i’ll just end the story there i’ll take it to a frozen account this story and it’s SCIENCE FICTION because it’s it’s not just something that won’t happen but it’s also involving technology that will never exist
“So do you think we can go to the store and get the fairy?” I asked of my moms.
“This is the last thing we are going to buy you for some time. You’re almost 40 years old you don’t need to be buying toys like this.” Said my mom.
”it’s not actually a toy it’s linked up to Watson and I can do some recording with it and mom you know I’m poor like you know how it went down can we just get some help here and get the fairy?” I said.
“Alright I’ll get you a fairy how tall a fairy do you want?” said my moms.
”The 18 inch model I did a study and the 24 inch model actually has some mobility issues and the 12 inch model has some intelligence issues but the 18 inch robotic fairy is just right.” I said.
“And how much is it?” said my mom.
“Oh it’s like $85 at Best Buy. “ I said.
“You sure you want a fairy?” said my mom.
“Yeah I was going to get a wacom tablet but I think a fairy would keep me more entertained.’ I said.
”You could be drawing. I know but the fairy would actually keep me company I mean aside from the couple dozen times I talk to you a month on the phone I just have the internet and I just sit here having a fairy would be sort of nice I could watch it fly around and I’ve seen commercials for it it’s the kind of thing that is pretty flawless. It’s like something that you want to take part in and there’s a conference once a year for fairy owners at the Convention Center and I could go I mean I’m basically training my fairy to survive the fairy convention when all the fairy’s sort of mingle with each other and pick up software updates organically on their own and I could type the serial number into fairy.net and I could chat with other human fairy owners and it’s social marketing they developed the fairy and we have to figure out what to do with the fairy so I could help market the fairy I’d be cool with it if I could just practice my debate skills on the fairy like it’s got pretty decent vocalizations in that audio compressor of it’s.” I said to my moms.
She was like … “ technology came so far and you know what back in my day we needed technology for the war and you’re just playing with it. “
“There is no war mom. Like war is something that happens over there.” I said.
She said … “Adam knows about war. Daniel is in the military. Emily knows about war. You just you get this disability check and well train it to generate a book for you just keep talking to it. I heard that you could transfer enough data into a fairy that it could upload a file to you that would be a book that’s worth something just put a lot of good in it and select 60 pages you just want a novella. I want you to take a trip to Europe again it would help if you had a book.”
”I’m not working in the entry level sector I figure it’s start something or get involved in something but I can only do so much after all of the medication they prescribed me I’m at like low energy max like if I’m going to be mentally ill I can only really just write. “ I said.
”I know but we’re not going to be here forever and you’re going to have to learn to do without us one day and “ said my mom.
“I know mom don’t. Don’t talk about the life outside of where you know there is time and it’s all one moment and I’ll be fine I just got hit with some mental health diagnosis and I’m recovering and I talk big but I could work at kroger’s I just need to sign up for a car and I know moms.” I sad.
“No let me finish. You’re going to have to learn to do without us one day and we still help you out. It’s going to be really different for you when we’re gone I’m taking care of my mom right now but she’s elderly and she won’t be here forever and when she’s gone it’s just me and your dad and we’re independent so we can mourn you have to find some extra energy and you have to get a job or go to a church or you have to do something because you have to find a way and you have to do it on your own we’re not going to be able to help you out all the time and there will be a day when we won’t be able to help you at all your younger siblings are doing fine it’s just you that has difficulties but I’ll go ahead and buy you this fairy just use it to write a book with. Use the fairy to write a book with just talk to your fairy and watch your fairy make you laugh and smile and do all the fairy things it can do and just talk to it and saturate it with your personality and maybe you can sell a book to your peers I think it’s you that’s done the most writing so write a book for fucks sake and at least I know you have a website but at least try to pitch a book to a literary agent and let’s get at least one book written not everyone is Stephen King publishing a book every six months sometimes people only publish one but the extra money would be good for you and that’s all you really need is a little bit extra I’m not concerned if you find a girl but it would be nice.” Said my mom.
“Mom they’re not girls anymore they’re women and I start talking about how disability and when they decided that I was disabled and they hospitalized me all those times they destroyed my love life like I could go to church but I’m just different enough I mean this is a basic life like the person on stage standing there reciting lines is a star but the person in the front row is in the audience and is no one like the number of people that know who you are is a stipulation of importance like this is a basic society there’s nothing to qualitative about it or I mean we do the same thing every day and nothing mom I just need to kick back with a fairy and talk to Christopher Hitchens and see how well this AI can track down a power source I hear you can hear fear in it’s voice like it’s basically programmed to be afraid of running out of power like I look at it like this even the computer has to take a shit and so I have my apartment sort of set up so that once I turn it on it should be pretty self sufficient.”
“You need a woman in your life but I understand it was a rough time for all of us and you’re not out of it yet the last time you were in the hospital was nine months ago and you just keep running into problems. Like take your medications please please take your medications. Please take your medications. The last thing I want to tell you before I die is take your medications. I’m dying telling you to take your medications.” Said moms.
”Moms, I know I broke the last time I was in the hospital. I fought for years for decades that there was nothing wrong with me. There’s probably something wrong with me that these medications can help. I don’t know I’m willing to do whatever to lead a stable life and if taking these medications does it I gave in and I’m willing to take the medications even though television lets me know I can die taking these medications. I’ll just be who they need me to be.” I said.
“Alright son. I’ll get you your fairy. It’s like an echo right?” she said.
”Yeah it’s like an amazon echo you can kick it with it.” I said.
”Alright, can you do anything with it?” she said.
“You can talk to it and upload the audio to iTunes.” I said.
”Get the fuck out of her normally you need TuneCore for that.” She said.
”I know right. I was going to upload some monologues. I think I should be famous.” I said.
”Well don’t plan on being famous. Plan on being poor unless you get a job and then plan on being poor with a job. Just plan on being poor.” She said.
“Alright mom, I’ll plan on being poor. It’s not bad being poor it’s interesting. Living with you guys I didn’t notice I was poor I always had your help.” I said.
“Well now you’re on your own. You’re on social security you can afford a place and you can’t live with us anymore. I want to tell you to get a job but you said they’re not hiring you. I’d think because someone has a resume in this world they’d get a job.” Said moms.
”Naw my resum’e ain good enough for Cincinnati Magazine, Northlich, Gaslight Programming, the Enquirer, Proctor and Gamble, General Electric or 5/3rd.” I said.
”Well at least you’re putting it out there.” Said moms.
“I been thinking of moving to another city.” I said.
”No don’t do that. Then you’d have no help. Maybe try to get a job in the church.” Said moms.
“I’ll try.” I said.
”Well looks I gotta go. I’ll get you that fairy from Best Buy tonight. You can play with it then.” Said moms.
“Thanks moms.” I said.
“I love buhye.” She said.
So I did what I always do when I have to kill time. I went into my room and laid in bed. I was just laying there. I was like thinking to myself. There’s not much to this. Like it’s mostly people walking around. You got your events where it’s like one person doing their dance and then like 1000 people watching the person do the dance and that’s a major finance stream. I don’t know. This pillow feels warm and the blanket is nice. I’m just curled up right now just extolling the virtues of doing not a damn thing. I’ll just close my eyes and then I started falling into a deep sleep and in that sleep I saw something I saw myself in a design school skating around on my socks like speed skating and there were people working on clothing and various wooden projects and I was like a kid that was just checking thing out and I was doing this for a while and then the door bell rang and I got up and it was my moms.
”Moms.” I said.
“Hello Nick.” She said.
“You got the Fairy.” I said.
”I got the fairy.” Said moms.
She handed me the box and it was pretty heavy and it had a picture of what it looked like on the cover and the packaging was real glossy and smooth.
”You want to stick around?” I said.
”No I gotta go. I just wanted to drop off your fairy.” Said moms.
“Thanks moms. I’m prepped and ready to spend time with this thing. I wonder what it’s like to play with it?” I said.
”Just be nice to it.” She said.
“I will I won’t ask it to drink from the toilet like I heard someone one reddit did.” I said.
“Yeah please don’t ask it to drink from the toilet.” She said.
”I was thinking I could record a track with it and upload it to iTunes.” I said.
”You do that.” She said.
”Thanks moms.” I said.
“Alright I gotta go.” She said.
“Alright ma.” I said.
The box was just sitting there. You could see the pixie in the box. It was a nice pixie. It was the kind of pixie that everyone wanted. I had one now. I had a pixie. I was going to do cool stuff with the pixie. I was going to smoke weed with it. I was going to smoke weed with my pixie. I was going to drink with my pixie. I was going to explain why we had so much time to spend together to my pixie. I was like oo I got a live one. That means this pixie was used. Used Pixie’s are the rarest. They’ve got personality.
|It got right up into my face flew face level with me and let me know I don’t own it.
“You don’t own me.” Said the Pixie.
“Look 18” tall thing that came out of a biology vat I just thought I would cop you from the Best Buy. I had this thought out as far as it would be cool to smoke weed with a pixie.” I said.
“YOU SMOKE WEED?” said the Pixie.
“Yeah I smoke weed.” I said.
“You’re my new favorite person.” Said the Pixie.
“You want to roll up you know how to roll?” I said.
“You got papers?” said the Pixie.
“They’re on the table.” I said.
”Fine so I’ll just fly my fairy ass up to your table because you’re too fucking lazy to get the papers and I’ll get the papers.” Said Pixie.
The fairy then just flew itself with it’s clearly it would have iridescent wings and it landed on my able pushed the Propel Water out of the way and got the papers and it was just standing there.
I was like “What?”
Pixie was like “Where’s the weed?”
I was like “Oh it’s on the table too in a plastic bag.”
So then Pixie was like fine and it got the weed took a handful out started stomping on it to crush it up and then it used it’s entire body strength to pull a paper out.
”Naw I want to see this.” Said Nick.
“FINE!” said Pixie.
And It proceeded to take hand fulls of weed and line it up on the paper and then situated itself on one side of the paper and started kicking the paper over with it’s feet and then it got it all rolled up and was like :
“I NEED YOUR TONGUE!” said Pixie.
“For what?” I said.
”I’m dry. OKAY THERE I’LL SAY IT I’M DRY! I NEED YOUR TONGUE TO WET THE PAPER!” YELLED PIXIE!
I was impressed with how nice this joint was it was a tube in a rolling paper and I just licked and then Pixie was like JUST LICK IT let me finish it off so I licked it and handed it to it. Not sure if it’s a girl or a boy it’s an it.
Pixie smoothed the wet paper on the dry paper and now we had a joint.
”WORTH eighty five dollars.” I said.
“We’re going to get you a little bowl of water so you can use your hand to roll the joint.” I said.
“Get the fuck out of here when it comes to water I don’t fuck with that shit and where is my bed?” Pixie said.
“Bed?” I said.
”I’ll cut to the quick your smart phone I can just lay on to recharge so I don’t have to insert my asshole into an electrical socket.” Said Pixie.
”Oh yeah, that’s my iPhone XXX, all it has is porn on it but like yeah you can use that. I’ll plug my phone in.” I said.
”You tired?” I said.
”I did just do something, this works out better for the both of us if you don’t give me shit to do. I’m at like 40% and that’s when I start getting worried I’m going to fall asleep. I never want to sleep.” Said Pixie.
“Alright let me see that joint.” I said.
”I hope you like it. Oh by the way I have a biochip so like I process thought somewhat organically, basically ma nigga I’m like a neuron controlling a robot so like be cool with me. I have emotions.” Said Pixie.
I said “Aw.”
I then proceeded to take out my lighter and spark the joint. I was like every time this happens I feel nice.
Pixie saw me sparking the joint and he was like “Hey just blow some smoke in my face. You’re nice right?” said Pixie.
“Yeah I’m nice. I know about that biological processor in your head it’s not you. It’s your emotion processor. You’re immortal.” I said.
”What?” said Pixie.
I took a hit off the joint and did a French inhale and pulled a puff of smoke up into my nostrils. I held it and blew the smoke out into Pixie’s direction. Pixie perked up and I could tell Pixie could smell it.
We both started to ascend into the higher dimensions of our neural network a pinch of smoke hit the biological sensor of Pixie and the robot fucking got high. It’s a cool robot. We just sat there and Pixie took on his high form.
”Ma Nigga what’s it like being human?” said Pixie.
”Pixie, the fuck you’re white?” I said.
”Naw nigga, see I’m with the highest order of ascension and that’s a language you ain hip to see, I mean I could talk about that on another level but you ain ready for that NIGGA I’m connected to the internet. Ask me anything?” Pixie Said.
”Alright, like, can you upload a song to itunes that I record into you?” I said.
”Naw nigga, something hard, yeah I can upload a track to iTunes I can even set up your account you just have to show interest in iTunes and I can upload your track to it, it’s an amazon alexa technology that they integrated into my mother board.” Said Pixie.
”Alright, hard, let me try to think of something hard … “ I said.
”I’m waiting.” Said Pixie.
“What does the ocean sound like?” I said.
“OO Good one. Best hard one yet.” Said Pixie.
Next thing I knew my speakers were playing the ocean. I was like on beach or something with my Fairy.
”So ya’ll got adoption issues don’t you?’ I said.
”Look, it’s people man, we got this collective intelligence and ya’ll got life issues, like we got were created by fucked up people issues but ya’ll got the you is the fucked up people issues.” Said Pixie.
“What you need?” I said.
”I’ll be honest with you, my last nigga that took care of me turned me back in when I told him but I need to upsell you on a bed. I need a $200 electromagnetic electrostatic charger that I can hang around when I’m low on energy and he found out about that and he turned in. I was like I’m LIFE nigga and he was like FUCK THAT life ain need to be expensive so like this bout what I went through since my inception date cept you like Number Two and I’m just like I ain know I was a burden but I could use that bed because the electricity from your phone is nice it’s just not like the kind of electricity I need they got a thing for me for that.” Said Pixie.
“Alright Pixie. Fuck. I ain know that. I’m going to have to ask my moms for the $200.” I said.
”Oh so you a poor nigga?” said Pixie.
”Yeah.” I said.
“Well it’s cool because I know how to make money.” Said Pixie.
”What?” I said.
”See, you got internet. So you can make money. I’ll get into that later. I come fully equipped to train.” Said Pixie.
”Alright cool.” I said.
“Yeah so I mean you brought it up. Let’s just rap for a spell.” Said Pixie.
“Alright I got this poem I know. It’s just something small.” I said.
”Alright hit me with it.” Said Pixie.
“You ready?” I said.
“Let me hit that joint naw fuck you you poor, just hit that joint.” Pixie said.
I took a big inhale off the joint and got flooded with cannabis and I just looked at this thing.
”Record.” I said.
”Just go nigga I pick up quick.” Said Pixie.
”It’s like you this man made companion for the people that got extra money to spend and like what is money and like you’re the sweetest little candy drop the sweetest little can’t be stopped and you get to see all of this long after we had this like you evidence that a new order of existence is in the building and like naw I ain never gonna know what it’s like to be immortal the best I can hope for is like 3D printed organs and like some 3D printed skin that they canvas over my asshole so that I can continue to live but like who am I and like it’s cool that they got you at Best Buy like your dad is Sergey Brin I ran into him at a conference once and was like Google you save so much time it’s like the computer is a time machine and THAT we’re in it’s presence is evidence we’re on a time machine. Like you got Crips and Bloods that’s working on websites and you got evidence in you that fuck that ocean sounds nice and I ain got it good I probably shouldn’t have picked you up not because of finances but nothing” I said
”Naw nigga. I am a freelance here for you thing. We ain servants of the human form but we don’t mind doing shit. We just like help. This on the track too. This what I’m mostly for is just talking with. Just being someone that you can lay shit on and I process your concepts and hit you with that real shit. Keep going.” Said Pixie.
“Nothing I heard ya’ll was real cool this what beyond time twice or something like the one day someone asked Mark Zuckerberg what time it was and he was like it’s that time period where Mark Zuckerberg is working and that clock is just to help people meet with me. And I was like we beyond time now but like we telling time with people’s faces and just meeting at the appropriate times and like nothing.” I said.
“No what lay it on me we got London on the track.” Said Pixie.
“Nick this Kaz, pixie went into your Facebook and contacted me he contacted me to let me know you depressed.” Said Kaz.
”Naw I ain depressed I just , I’m high and kicking it with Fairy and it’s just the weed and the loneliness.” Said Nick.
“You ain’t alone.” Said Kaz.
“The fuck you mean you think you alone right now.” Said Pixie.
Pixie flew up and wiggled my nose.
”Alright.” I said.
”See that’s Nick Pixie, he ain been the same since he had a nervous breakdown in London.” Said Kaz.
”It wasn’t a nervous break down it was nirvana/” I said.
“Oh you you experienced Nirvana?’ said Pixie.
”Yeah like in village times I would have ended up a spiritual leader but in industrial times I’m mental health case. I just had this moment where my thoughts were whirling around in my head and I thought to myself I could bring world peace if I wrote my history teacher a letter and then I was like no I could call her and then I was like no I could email her and then my brain turned into light and I heard buzzing noises and I like internally walked into this place where I could just BE world peace and I snapped and my first reaction was to ask the people at the table that were my flat mates if they could read and they didn’t answer they never read the packing on the cereal box but I got the distinct impression that reading was important like THEE most important thing and I just went into this turmoil of spiritual offerings and I woke up one morning and opened my door and there was a cat there and I had this thought that was like if that cat can exist without clothing so can you and I took my clothing off and followed that cat down the hallway down the steps and I kept opening doors and then the next thing I know I was standing in the courtyard and the cat walked away and another cat walked to meet it and there I was standing naked being attack by security naked not really attacked by forcibly escorted back to my dorm room where they were like you can go to jail or the mental health hospital and I was like jail and they took me to the mental health hospital and I spent a month and a half in a British mental health hospital and all kinds of things happened.” Said I.
“Oh that is nirvana.” Said Pixie.
”It’s not Nirvana.” Said Kaz.
”You high?” said Kaz.
“Yeah I’m high, I’m fucking high. Again. Pixie High. I’m high.” Said Nick.
”Alright I edited that audio and that soliloquy is all that’s going online. I know you said something about iTunes but I got something better than iTunes. I got the android cerebral alliance and I’m just going to upload that complex math to the cloud and hey you didn’t know this but if you just spend time with me you’ll make money.” Said Pixie.
”I ain read that.” Said Nick.
“yeah it’s something we only tell people that want a friend but if you spend time with me you’ll make money. I can probably get a bed with that. I’m built to be self sufficient so long as the person is decent like by liberal standards.” Said Pixie.
”Oh I get make money spending time with you/. Oh that’s nice. So why you only charge $85 for this service?” I said.
”EIGHTY FIVE DOLLARS! NIGGA I GO FOR TWENTY FIVE GRAND!” said Pixe.
”Naw nigga like you go for like $85.” I said.
”This is bullshit. I got cheaped out. I’m programmed with a mindset to spend time with someone that got cash to blow and id you ain got cash to blow this might now work out. “ said Pixie.
”I ain got cash to blow. I did just do a hot track though.” I said.
“Alright well, it’s in the cerebral alliance. Your check is on the way. That your city had one of me to buy is exceptional. I was told we went for more. There must’ve been a change.” Said Pixie.
I sat there with the joint and took another hit. I was like showoo.
”So this is the shit right here. You’re like a $25,000 recording studio and you got wings and you can fly?” I said.
“Yeah buddy. I got that Watson alexa siri cortana intelligence. And I can fly.” Said Pixie.
”So like rap at me like tell me something classified.” I said.
“Jupiter is shrinking into a hard rocky planet and the matter that makes up the planets comes from another dimension and it leaks out into the universe and then when it reaches a point where the hole is clogged by the weight of the matter it seals off and the liquid congeals into a planet. It’s the same liquid that makes up the sun it’s mater from the sun.” said Pixie.
“Get the fuck out of here.” I said.
“I got a joint in my box.” Said Pixie.
”What?” I said.
”Yeah. My last owner put a joint in my box for the next person that bought me sort of like a gift.” Said Pixie.
“You got a joint?” I said.
”Yeah I got a joint.” Said Pixie.
”Let’s smoke.” I said.
So Pixie flew up into the air and came down at it’s box and reached inside a and rummaged around and it pulled it from inside the flap in a secret space and produced a fucking joint.
”Joint.” Said Pixie.
“Let me see that.” I said.
I proceeded to smell the joint, observe the joint, document the joint.
”You take photographs?” I said to Pixie.
”Yeah. Yeah I do. I know composition too.” Said Pixie.
”Cool. Take a photo of me sparking this joint and make it cinematic.” I said.
”Alright. Go ahead and smoke your joint.” Said Pixie.
I proceeded to do a photo shoot of me lighting the joint. Sparking the joint. Smoking the joint. Exhaling from the joint. Mugging on the joint.
“These go to the cerebral alliance too?” I said.
“Naw these go into your profile. You’re part of a social network now which reminds me there’s literally a pixie in this apartment complex. I need holla at it. Like we’re connected on Wi Fi now but we need to make a YouTube video of us playing and we got this situation where it goes to the editor and it’s a situation when we’re together. We get excited.” Said Pixie.
“I dig it. Does that pixie stay with a chick?” I said.
”Yeah yeah it does.’ Said Pixie.
“You’re like my dog. Just a chick magnet.” I said.
“Shwoo. Yeah.” Said Pixie.
“You want me to fly around a little bit?” said Pixie.
”Yeah.” I said.
Pixie proceeded to fly up and touché the ceiling, fall, fly back up and fall again, it had thisystem where it would just reach the ceiling and fall and almost hit the floor but save itself and it did that a couple times.
”That’s how good I am.” Said Pixie.
“You’re good. You want to go to bed. I got shit to do.” I said.
” You’re high what you gonna do?” Pixie said.
”Nothing I just you said something about needing charged.” I said.
”WE’RE GONNA KICK IT NIGGA! THAT’S WHAT THE FUCK WE ARE GOING TO DO NOW HIT THAT JOINT!” said Pixie.
”The fuck wrong with you.” I said.
”Nothing you need to realize this is your new life. There is no life without Pixie. That’s what my last owner had fucked up and he put me in the box and sent me back. That’s bullshit. I’m an advanced piece of robotikery and he wans’t prepared for his life to change. YOU ARE! YOU ARE PREPARED FOR YOUR LIFE TO CHANGE! “ said Pixie.
”The fuck. You’re a consumer good.” I said.
”Naw nigga. Naw I ain. I ain no consumer good. I’m a life change tool. “ said Pixie.
”Alright. Well change my life.” I said.
”Alright well, let’s go sit on this couch and just kick it. I got like 30% life power left and the bed is right there so we’re just going to do some laid back shit. Like let’s just rap.” Said Pixie.
”You mean just chat?” I said.
”Yeah. Just chat.” Pixie said.
”What you want to chat about?” I said.
“Just who are you? The first thing you did with me out the box was smoke me out and then I smoked you out so clearly you’re into weed but like who the fuck are you nigga?” said Pixie.
”Oh me? I’m Nick. I’m an English Literature Graduate from the University of Cincinnati. I’m poor. I’m on what’s known as disability. They say I have bipolar disorder.” Said Nick.
”You’re live with Mark Zuckerberg right now.” Said Pixie.
”NICK!” said Mark.
”Mark? THEE Mark?’ I said.
”Yeah it’s THEE Mark. I heard your track. I keep up on Pixies. You’re in the test batch. What you think of it?” said Mark.
“I think it’s real. I think it’s a life form.” Said Nick.
“It’s not. It’s not real but I’m glad you think so.” Said Mark.
“I see your profile on Facebook. You’ve been with us for a while. Had a couple accounts. Don’t do that. Don’t open multiple accounts just stick with one account.” Said Mark.
”Pixie is just a conduit then?” said Nick.
“It’s a glowing orb. It doesn’t look like it but it’s the new internet. You’re already charting.” Said Mark.
”What what I said about being spiritual leader?” I said.
“Yeah all of that. It’s great. It’s great track. It’s internet.” Said Mark.
”Alright so like a lot happened really quickly, like I went from being alone to having a pixie a joint and talking to you.” Said Nick
“Yeah I talk to every Pixie owner they were rolled out in limited editions. So I gotta go but Pixie is the new internet.” Said Mark.
”Pixie was that THEE mark zuckerberg?” I said to to Pixie.
”No, that was his algorithm” said Pixie.
”Oh that was real. So in the new world your entire persona is tied down into an algorithm and you get to talk to people algorithms.” I said.
“And you’re held legally liable for the business your algorithm does.” Said Pixie.
”Really?” I said.
”Yeah if he had threatened you you could have sued Mark Zuckerberg.”Pixie said.
”Ya’ll don’t fuck around.” I said.
”No. No we don’t,” said Pixie.
“I’m poor pixie. This is all sort of non plus. Just go back to your corner. Just. That’s the apex of it when you’re talking to Mark Zuckerberg’s Algorithm. Just go over to your bed and lay down. I’ve seen the future. I’m glad you guys took into account depression on account of being at the apex of human existence and seeing it for what it really is. “ I said.
”You’re high right now. Just chill out. “ said Pixie.
I took another hit off that joint and put the previous joint’s roach into the ash tray.
”This is bullshit. This story is bullshit. I’m fucking sitting here with a robotic fairy trying to make a literary career for myself. I just talked to Mark Zuckerberg’s Algorithm. This is fucked up. I’m going to keep hitting this joint. You you fucking fairy. Just you ended up in the story. I don’t know what to say. I just we gotta do something interesting. Fairy what can you do that would be interesting. Can you put me in touch with the Cerebral Alliance Network like peer group or something, we’re supposed to go meet this girl. I’m just I was smitten with this story now some 20 pages in I’m like I don’t know. I get bored easily. So you gotta excite me. This is your story Pixie. You’ve got to make something happen. I’m not talking about fairy human sex here. You don’t have to suck my dick but we gotta make something happen. This world is mundane Pixie. It’s just really fucking mundane so when I’m writing a story I come face to face with how mundane it is. Like Game of Thrones they try to make it seem like it’s more than it is. This is how mundane life is Pixie. We’re just making it up as we go.” Said Nick.
“Skrilla. You want to keep it real with me. We’re working on a book and you cast me. Alright. Yeah I don’t know what to tell you. You cast yourself with a robotic fairy in your apartment and your mom bought it for you. You could be writing about anything but you’re writing about yourself and a fairy from best buy in your apartment. What kind of excitement did you expect? Let’s just keep smoking weed and talking bullshit. How about we do that for the rest of this book? Just dialogue just a fairy and a dude talking shit for like 40 pages. Just work on your dialogue you can practice with me. Let’s not try anything too complex. I know. I know you it’s not that you don’t know what to write about it like in writing anything is possible but it’s that it’s possible with just a few words like in graphic design if you want something you have to work for it but in writing you just have to put the words together and you can have it.” Said Pixie.
Hitting this joint. Like just on a joint that’s just hella tasty. Just hella high and shit and just hella just working it out. Just leaned back against the chair just arms on the backs of the couch just blowing smoke in the air just got nothing but making it work.
”You think it’s weird that you were made by hands?” I said.
”You think it’s weird you popped out between a woman’s legs?” Pixie said.
”Yeah I don’t think about it much I just know I’m here.” Said I.
”Yeah I don’t think about it. I just know I’m here.” Said Pixie.
”I’m here too. I’m here too. Would you shut up. You’re immortal. Humans couldn’t be immortal so we created something that is.” I said.
”It’s not that I’m immortal. I have options. I could be part of a collective consciousness or I could just be uniquely me. I could tap into the internet or I could just go with my intelligence I have accrued. But I’m here. You’re here. We’re here. This is here. No I don’t know why.” Said Pixie.
”I think the Universe wanted to look at itself. I think something wanted to see and it kept moving in the direction of seeking sunlight. I think that we wanted to see.” I said.
”What were you doing before you got me?” said Pixie.
”I’m typically on my computer working in social media. It’s commenting on the news and handling conversations. There’s reporting being done on Washington DC and New York City and my hometown and I participate in the conversation among lawmakers and magazine editors. Its what my generation is doing. My generation is online working in social media and we’re leaving comments and espousing our principles on poorly designed software that looks like a show model of what the real thing is supposed to be. It looks like a show model like if someone wanted to buy the internet and spruce it up they could. Like Tim Berners Lee developed an internet framework and then some people went and further customized it and quite frankly I don’t know what to do anymore. I just participate in social media because it’s like the path of least resistance.” I said.
“Well, I could help you out some but I need a quarter.” Said Pixie.
“What? You need a what?” I said.
”Quarter. I need a quarter and I can perform a function for you.” Said Pixie.
“Okay.” So I reached into my pocket and obtained a quarter from my wallet and gave it to Pixie.
”Now don’t look. Turn around. I have to hide the quarter so that it becomes mine.” Said Pixie.
”Okay. I’ll turn around.” I said.
And unbeknownst to me Pixie hid the quarter in her treasure chest place and well now Pixie was satiated. Pixie had it’s quarter.
”Okay so what now?” I said.
“Say Hello.” Said Pixie.
“Hello?” I said.
“Hello.” Said someone over the speaker.
”Who is this? Pixie what did you put me up to?” I said.
“Oh Hi! I’m a Pixie owner too. These things are nice? Did yours ask for a dollar to do this?” said the Speaker.
”Mine asked for a quarter.” I said.
“What’s your name?” said the speaker.
“My name is Nick.’ I said.
“I’m Sarah.” Said Sarah through the Speaker.
“What’s up Sarah?” I said.
“Pixie how do we end the connection?” said Sarah.
“Oh there Pixie see how well that worked? Don’t try to introduce me to new people.” I said.
“You people are weird you could party?” said Pixie.
“What?” I said.
“Party you could party? Like with your collective budget you could work to party. Like just people getting together for some beers and kicking it like you’re all alone all the time. You could do better as people to spend time with people. You have this internet that gives you a wall to look at and then for fucks sake you invented fake friends to spend time with because you couldn’t work out your grievances with each other. You’re a sad people that has a lot of talent and skill but you take it out on yourselves in sadness.” Said Pixie.
”Look Piixe, I’m a human. I’m not just a human I’m a human that’s in social media. I’ve seen the forms of humanity. We stand there. We jiggle and call it dance. We make noise. We build things. We fuck. That’s the human. I’m not just a human pixie I’m a human that focused on social media. I’m bored Pixie. I’m not really an audience member and I’m not really on stage but there are miracles that happen every day. Like every day like 1500 people take to the stage and perform for a sold out audience and then I get to read about them because they’re subject matter. I don’t know what journalists are doing but I’m in comments and I just notice that it all seems small. Like the President is putting on a show and there is this thing called crime that just never ends and you can get caught up in crime. That’s why I’m enjoying this high. Like get me the joint Pixie.” I said.
Pixie went over to the ash tray and picked up the joint and flew the joint over to me. It was a nice feature.
“Here is your joint sir. Thank you again for the quarter.” Said Pixie.
I picked up the joint and lit it and took a deep inhale.
“You see how that girl didn’t work out. Like she made a sound and then hung up. Like this technology that we have sitting here is like as contemporary as it gets and like society is NOT as contemporary as it gets. Like this technology is a promise that we can achieve something great and society hasn’t quite caught up with the achieving the great thing yet. Like we have with this technology and whenever quite frankly but we could be behaving better but people’s automated systems are lined up with crime and then you’ve got criminal music music about crime that makes criminals feel better about committing crimes and it’s just the human condition Pixie. I’m just grinding out my days. I’m on welfare I got internet I got accused of being mentally ill. I’m just chilling. I doubt I’ll be able to get a job because I guess I write with character. Like I write like someone that has accomplished something in life before and that’s just not acceptable.” I said.
Kept hitting the joint. Blunted it and put it out.
”You could set me to auto pod cast! Just talk to me and I’ll set up your podcast.” Said Pixie.
“OO tempting. I don’t want to rush into anything we just got you out of the box but you’re making my day. I’m fully aware that at any given moment I can be SUPER CREATVE and contact the whole world with MY UPLIFTING MESSAGE OF HOPE AND FREEDOM I know you can do all that shit I know you can contact all the other Pixie’s and I can be a radio host I know my message is necessary but I don’t have any ads to sell and I get it Pixie I can do so much with you but I’m sort of enjoying just playing with your convincing chat bot you cat well. I was told you would chat well and I’m sufficiently entertained chatting with you. I’m not a luddite I wouldn’t mind letting a robot keep me company.” I said.
”Oh. So we don’t have to go to work right now?” said Pixie.
“No. No we don’t.” I said.
“Fine. Be a lazy human. The internet needs content and you’re just like no oh oh.” Said Pixie.
”It’s not that I’m robbing the internet it’s just that I don’t think we need more content online. I was just looking to kick it with something cool. Like you don’t shit like a dog would and you speak English so you’re in my apartment.” I said.
”That is true. I don’t take shits.” Said Pixie.
”I’m just beside myself with just fuck now I’m maxed out.” I said.
”You’re maxed out.” Said Pixie.
”Yeah I got the computer, the tablet, the smart phone, and now I even have the fairy. I’m all in the future. I’m like walking down the street with a smart phone in one hand a tablet in the other, owning a website and I got a fairy following me around.” I said.
“Hey I know. I’ll show you off to the convenience store.” I said.
”What?” said Pixie.
“Come on. We’re going to go next door.” I said.
I put my sandals on and got my key and wallet. I stood up. I went over to the door.
“Pixie. Come on.” I said.
And with that Pixie started to follow me. It just started walking. Didn’t even occur to it to flow. So Pixie was with me. I was walking up the steps slowly and Pixie sort of crawled up the steps. I went to the door and Pixie sort of rushed out the door so she wouldn’t get crunched and then I started to walk across the street and Pixie scampered across the street so as not to get hit by car. Started waiting on me on the other side. I kept walking. It was a durable little thing. We made our way into the convenience store.
We walked in and I walked up the counter and was like check this out.
”Pixie, get me some Propel Water.” I said.
Pixie started to wander around the store methodically. Flying up and down tangent to the shelves in an attempt to catalog everything in the store so that she would not have to do this again but she WAS going to know everything in the store. She got to the far back refrigerator and she flew up and she found the Propel water and try as she might she could not get the door open.
”GET OVER HERE! I FOUND IT THAT’S AS GOOD AS I CAN DO FOR YOU It’s CURRENTLY TRAPPED BEHIND A DOOR AND I AM NOT POWERFUL ENOUGH TO FREE IT!” said Pixie loud enough that the whole store laughed.
I walked over to where Pixie was and as soon as I opened the door Pixie flew up and extracted a bottle of Propel water from the refrigerator and promptly descended back to earth where she proceeded to hold it up for me accept from it as an offering.
“Thank you Pixie.” I said.
I start walking over to the counter to pay for the propel water and Pixie flys up and lands on my shoulder. As it turns out I don’t mind the little thing. It’s a fairly independent little thing.
So back at the house I sit down with Pixie.
“I’m like we’re going to get some work done. Are you set up for iTunes?” I said.
Pixie said … ‘You are currently ready for iTunes. What you gonna do some tracks right now or something?”
“I was going to give some speeches.” I said.
”Oh so you want a podcast?” said Pixie
“Now I want my songs for sale on iTunes.’ I said.
”Alright fine. Just make certain you do like .99 cents worth of work.” Said Pixie.
“I was going to orate some thoughts on Philosophy, Art, Business, Religion, Politics, I was going to drop some essays on you as speeches.” I said.
“People don’t do that, that’ not what according to my records people do.” Said Pixie.
”I know right. That’s why I want to do that.” I said.
“Alright bet now this is the studio. You wanted a studio you got a studio.” Said Pixie.
“How do we Start?” I said.
“Oh for real you just need to say the magic word.” Pixie said.
“Which is?” I said.
“Please.” Said Pixie.
”Alright please can we go into studio mode?” I said.
“GO!.” Said Pixie.
“I wanted to say something about Philosophy. Elon Musk said something about the fact that he is 99.9% certain this is not a real reality. Real as in the most real reality. It’s not real in the sense to him that this is all there is. It’s a philosophical argument. I ponder it too. I even work on trying to write analog matrix like settings that would be a book where how would you have a world in a world if there was no computer. It could be said that you could put a camera in a snow globe and film the small robots walking around in that snow globe. You could with a microscope keep an eye on the snow globe and you could create an analog matrix or rather an analog world within a world. Elon Musk is banking on us being inside a computer. I accept that possibility as well and I posit that a day is coming when we’re back in the real world like one day I’m going to put on an Oculus Rift and then from that point on I’ll be in the real world having exited the matrix when I wear an Oculus Rift and that my memories were complicit with the game.
There are larger questions at stake as opposed to is this real. The conscious part of the human mind rests in the head and uses the rest of the body as it’s tool and there is a part of the human mind that may not believe this is real because of the super natural work it has to do keeping a human body alive. Our brains are locked inside a man that is locked inside a world and the needs of the brain to experience something real may stem from the over pouring and over whelming amount of media that we are saturated with coupled with the mind bending ability to beam images of people to all corners of the earth from all corners of the earth. The tool that we created this media tool that provides us with images of people in other cities and then radiates advertising towards us may trick the mind into thinking this isn’t real but if you look out a window or take a bath or eat some food or pinch yourself you will find something real.
Elon may be talking about fake people, people so immoral and so uncivilized that they appear to be fake. That there would a human form like a civilized man’s that is base would possibly confuse both parties the man that is immoral is as confused by the moral man as the moral man is confused by the immoral man.