Observations of the Relationship Betwixt Branding and Typography

In terms of history there has been a rich coupling betwixt branding and typographic glyphs. Since ancient times there has been the process of culturally agreeing upon typographic symbols and a similar process of crafting brands for companies and lines of business. The most modern way of describing the creation of glyphs used to convey information is type design and type design is done by the technological minded industrial type designers. Industrial Type design is the process where abstract symbols are created in relation to each to other for the utilitarian purpose of conveying information, ideas, and emotion. There is a parallel to be drawn between the process of developing a successful brand and the the process of developing culturally relevant and acceptable typographic glyphs that we collectively are deemed acceptable for use and worthy of being declared “type”. The collective effect of a culture understanding what a specific glyph denotes in terms of the information, idea, or emotion it reflects is done through what is now known as branding which is where the two disparate concepts find their point of similarity.

Consider this. In a conversation with John Recker, of LPK International, a company whose purpose it is to build leadership brands and to convey the intent and the purpose of its clients it was discussed that western civilization collectively understands the letter “R” and the Nike Corporation’s “swoosh” iconography in similar fashion. It was discussed with John Recker and Vitae Magazine that at the onset of the creation of a typographic glyph which is unique in it’s design and representation of information and for lack of a better term beautiful and arbitrary there is a similar construction to typographic glyphs as there is to iconic branding. Where the meaning of a typographic glyph, if you have never considered this before, is in the building of the brand of the glyph and the collection of glyphs that interrelate with each other for a specific purpose that is to collectively enable an adherent of the collection of typographic symbols the ability to communicate meaning to individuals and communities of people that also subscribe to being literate in the crafted typographic set of symbols.

Look to the Western Civilization’s Alphabet. The Western Alphabet in succinct terms consists of twenty six symbols in its most basic format. There are the letters A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P, Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X, Y, Z in that essentially agreed upon beautiful arbitrary sequence. The process by which these twenty six symbols are given meaning starts in early adolescence in Western Culture where young children that are beginning to interact with their peers and are in generation after generation explicitly and with great effort taught how to use their youthful ability to absorb intelligence to develop an understanding of what these beautiful arbitrary glyphs represent and how to comprehend their collective meanings.

The Culture surrounding typography is a very serious one to an advanced civilization as there is no modern civilization that currently lacks having a cultural system in place where the community’s children are not in systemic fashion taught by adults already familiar with a set system of typographic symbols how to interpret the ideas, emotions, and information that various combinations of unique and arbitrary symbols are meant to represent. As children are learning to in their early years to speak and to mimic the vocalizations of their parents when they have matured to the extent that they are in youthful control of their voices it is typically around this time period that the children are taught how to equivocate their vocal pronunciations of words and to as they in their early years are beginning to understand the parallels between what they are thinking and what they are saying they are also being taught how to use a beautiful carefully constructed by industrial type designers abstract set of agreed upon typographic symbols to visually understand how what they are thinking and what they are saying can be represented in type.

There is a cumulative agreement within the culture that accepts these ideas as the core of its communication strata that every single one of these alphabetic glyphs resonates with singular utilitarian meaning. It was discussed with John Recker, again of LPK, that the origins of these glyphs has been lost in history and that the original authors of these glyphs have also been lost to history and that it would take extraordinary research and leaps of faith to ascribe to a singular historic individual who for instance the letter “R” was authored by. For lack of a better way of putting it John Recker of LPK put it this way, “The letter ‘R’ was developed by a caveman. Culture and the passing of time has come to describe what this symbol means and we carry it with us and accept it to be true collectively.”

This culture that has come to project meaning onto the arbitrary does so for a purpose. There are many different cultural glyph systems that are in use by various and distinct cultures. The Modern Chinese have their glyph system that consists of their unique sets of strokes and their unique sets of identity per each stroke based glyph which is unique to the culture of China. The Russians have their unique culture with their unique sets of glyphs that have been developed in line with the evolution of Russian culture. The field of Mathematics has itself a unique set of glyphs that it uses to denote advanced mathematical ideas which exists entirely in the advanced collective understanding of what a symbol means in terms of mathematics. Every major advanced culture has a set of symbols it uses to architect information that can be used to convey unique styles of information for the purposes of individuals being able to communicate from one to another what individuals and collections of individuals are disparately experiencing or are in need of experiencing to further individual and collective proliferation of what is necessary to be expressed for individuals and groups of people to be reliably understood.

The process of branding and the professional field of developing brands is not dissimilar from the process of teaching young children how to interpret and put to use to their benefit the ongoing striving for literacy and understanding of what the collective corpus of alphabetic glyphs represent phonetically. When someone is building a brand they are interested in being remembered in a certain light and with immediate recall similar to the way that when someone considers the letter ‘R.’ The letter ‘R’ immediately in the person that understands the individual meaning and use of the letter “R” what the letter “R” represents and how it is intending to be used. It represents the syllable and accompanying sound as symbolized here /rrr/ : (slight resonance of that takes place in the center of the oral cavity). Consider the Nike Corporation; their respective branded curve the indelible “swoosh” is a constructed symbol the same way a letter “R” is a constructed symbol. A branding symbol in business and a typographic glyph and tool and the process through which they are developed is not altogether dissimilar. It takes time and it takes understanding the same as each to be able to trigger the recall of meaning that the effort that goes into is supposed to create.

In my research for this article that is meant to provide a metaphoric magnifying lens on branding and typography I was serendipitously drawn to a link on reddit where I happened across Motate Media. Motate Media is on what I would consider on the leading edge of modern glyph construction because at the top of their company’s representative page they have a unique offering to the world of the traditional glyph and the traditional concept of branding. I happened across Motate Media from their pointer on Reddit and was immediately fascinated by what I saw. I saw at the top of their website interactive glyph branding in the form of a logo for their company. I saw something that I thought was new in the realm of typography and glyph creation and branding and in the interest of trying to find out more about this style of interaction and branding. I sought out and successfully landed an interview with Motate Media and had the opportunity to enter into a conversation with Chuck Mathias, from Motate Media. In conversation with Chuck Mathias, I came to understand that he wanted to create a unique branding interaction point for his company that was founded this last past July 2014. I came to find out interestingly enough that there has been an overwhelmingly impressive reaction to his branding icon. Chuck went into detail in this fashion in regards to his interactive glyph, ‘What we want to do with our company is essentially inter-cultural design. People are different. We are alike in different ways and perceive different ways.” I was in agreement with him that people do perceive things in different ways and he went on to point out that because of how modern and unique his branding style is he has received feedback relating to the fact that there are people that upon initially coming in contact with the interactive glyph are not immediately aware that it is interactive. I brought up in conversation to him that such feedback can be informative of just how modern something is. We then went on to discuss how when the Google Corporation was in it’s initial years when it’s website that has stood the test of time was a very minimalistic website design involved much more white space than search engines such as Yahoo or Alta Vista and website visitors would wait forty five seconds for the Google Corporation’s web page to load much to the confusion of the Google Corporation’s researchers of their patrons interaction with their company’s front end.

It is interesting to Vitae Magazine that in the process of crafting modern iconography that when dealing with the new and the modern that through no fault of individual’s own that fully understanding a concept or a piece of information that is in the process of being branded; the entire idea when it is extremely unique and modern will not resonate immediately with someone unfamiliar with the modern solution in front of them. I feel that upon conversation with Chuck Mathias that his interactive glyph is unique enough to this modern medium that for some of the visitors to his branding position on the internet his company is in the process of experiencing the building of a brand, the same process that is undergone by generation after generation of youth seeking to gain literacy in the various symbols of the various cultures around the world and the process of coming to terms with agreeing on a set of symbols to represent refined and high minded ideas so too does Motate Media from time to time encounter the process of informing and bringing people further into the realm of increased literacy involving a new style and offering of creative and unique branding that up. For the typographic symbols that now inhabit this growing and ever more far reaching medium known as the internet there is from time to time as people reach new digital solutions going to necessarily need to be a transitional time period for visitors to websites to in similar fashion to the way it takes time to understand a new graphical user interface, it takes time to understand something new and to come to a point of understanding of the new and the unique. In light of the feedback Motate Media has received due to the nature that their interactive icon which has an interface associated with it there is at least a moment with which someone needs to take a moment to explore their interactive typographic symbol and to at least spend a moment to understand the interface which through this process of interacting with the interactive glyph can create a memorable moment of interaction that reinforces the brand and associates it with the modern.

I would like to point out the following book for those interested in exploring typographic and branding solutions Dimensional Typography:: Words in Space: Kiosk Report #1 goes to show that there is exploration in three-dimensional typography and typographic symbols and cutting edge explorative glyph branding which exist in space and have volume to them as opposed to flat typographic symbols of tradition, this is in essence the style and field with which Motate Media’s interactive typographic exploration is kin to. It is part of an exploratative field of the ancient creation of glyphs enmeshed with modern technology that Motate Media has aligned itself with. Motate Media is another in the experimental field of three dimensional typography and not only this but they add the element of interactivity as well, this is a field that to Vitae Magazine’s understanding has only come to fruition in the realms of the digital media as within the realm of digital media you can within reason craft three dimensional interactive typography a home that it was less suited for in prior physical mediums. It should also be discussed that when attempting to craft movement into once static typography that there can be a period of transition between what people are accustomed to experiencing in terms of typography and the branding of the meanings of these typographic symbols and that with every branding process that is no different with typography it takes time for people to fully understand the novel and the new which is part of the draw of the novel and new as there is a natural curiosity to people in general and when exploring new ways to brand a typographic image especially when interactivity is involved it can lead to a necessary learning curve before the AHA moment of realization of the concept is reached.

It is interesting to Vitae Magazine how interactive typography and typography that rests in the voluminous third dimension can at times catch people slightly off guard. Of companies that are seeking unique and exploratative technologies to couple their brand with, three dimensional interactive typography is a very valid and vast field with which to explore and to discover the possibilities of for the purposes of expanding what is possible and to craft ever more unique and creative positions as a brand.

During the conversation with Chuck Mathias, he went on to discuss how his logo was constructed. His logo was constructed using a plug-in for the Blender Modelling program from a Russian software company that represents itself as Blend4Web It is at this online software distribution portal that a developer can gain access to the software necessary to create a similar solution to Motate Media that realistically to an online savvy audience realistically is of the style of exploration that adds value and interest to an ever exploring the z plane and ever exploring the potential of this medium. The software uses Web GL technology and allows for extremely detailed and interactive models to be used to create unique interactive imagery online with very few lines of code being necessary to implement the solution into your developed web site once the Blender Modeling work and plug-in enabled export has occurred.

Mathias, went on to discuss his company’s plans for the future evolution of their logo and their branding iconography by stating that “We would like to animate it and to craft it to move upon the loading of the page. It’s a different and unique logo. It is a push back against flat design and it is taking advantage of the new potential of the new media. We can have an interactive and minimalist design that is not flat.” Motate Media is starting off it’s professional brand by allowing itself to become memorable as the very fact that someone took notice of their web design and development company and posted a link to Reddit is a sign that they have a successful formula for branding themselves that is taking root in niche social media culturiste locales online. In the history of their company upon looking back they could very well come to notice that they were stepping foot into territory and coupling with their identity a style of typography and a style of branding that is very new and very robust and is typically only being utilized in exploratory academic design communities that are seeking to explore what is possible.

Because of Russia’s Blend4Web it is now possible to with a few lines of code upon the exporting of a model incorporate an IFRAME into your website and now upon linking to the interactive file in the IFRAME you can with this solution that through Russian development have the ability to explore three dimensional interactive typography and make the statement for your company that you are interested in being associated with the modern and the unique and the new and the conceptual and are interested in discovery and exploration.

Where typographic glyphs become shared in spaces of interactive volume and where visitors to companies websites can now begin almost touching a brand with their finger and moving it around there could be immersive branding and typographic solutions coming that rely on interaction to make sense of them using motion and colored physical interaction with digital branding and typography that as advanced cultures become technologically driven there could be with the emergence of solutions and the needs of brands to as is traditional remain memorable and unique and disparate from other brands in ever and more robust fashion there are likely to be more explorations into interactive typography and branding icons.

What is not new, what is as ancient a tradition as can be experienced in this modern time of crafting modern typographic solutions and modern brand creations to the past is as Chuck Mathias pointed out, some people upon reaching something new are in fact when all of the information has physically not had enough time to be absorbed there is now with new glyph creation and new brand creation as what would have to have been in ancient times when modern evolutions of the works of some distant ancient scribes in caves such as the author of the letter “R” had to face. When the first symbol that represents the /rrr/ or slight growl sound was crafted when civilization was first stepping into the realms of the processes of branding and collectively agreeing on what symbols stood for what sounds at the onset throughout the entire process in similar fashion to the way that Motate Media encounters some people that are in need of spending time with a defined design choice it had to have taken time at the beginning of typography and the branding of the meanings of typographic symbols into society for us to reach the level of understanding that A comes before B and B comes before C and C comes before X and X comes before Y and Y comes before Z. It stands to reason the development of the static symbols and the process of branding these static symbols into the collective consciousnesses of communities of people and further entire cultures that the process of Motate Media of branding itself with an interactive typographic glyph is to its inherent nature new and unique as likewise is their business and because of this the traditional processes of branding and the process of teaching the meanings of symbols comes into play and just like in ancient times there is a process through which agreed upon conventions are established and the work of LPK of building brands is the work of increasing literacy in understanding the meaning of symbols and the work of Motate Media in branding themselves with uniqueness is all part of the process of expanding what the symbols we have agreed upon means and it’s the process of sharing this information and agreeing upon it is that gives us our ability to continually expand how we express ourselves from each to each.

Cincinnati Red’s Oakland A’s Bottom of the 9th Game 4 World Series 1990 In Shakespearean in Original Fashion by Nicholas Lawson In Commemoration of the All Star Game Finally Being Played at Reds Stadium

(((There is a tremendous amount of montage in this work. The dialogue is spaced out in what can be called acts. They are not immediately complimenting of each other and to bring out the rest of the time for this piece into 30 minute range there needs to be Oakland-Cincinnati footage interspersed here to show a montage of baseball. This is a first draft that is to be taken into the hands of an art director and worked with and it is also evidence of a shakespearean style of writing that comes from this.)))


A Baseball Field

(- There is a man with a baseball on the pitcher’s mound. -)

Dennis Eckersley

Prithee we speaketh no more of the days we used to not play the game we play today. We openeth our insides and breaketh outish of our modern asides and begin again to wonderment and wonder how again we became men in this era of football and basketball and hockey and twas again the baseball’s and the bats that broketh all that we cameth upon this earth to play and twas again the baseball players that taught all players how to play.

(((There is a close up of the baseball and this work is timed so that the dialogue happens at the pace of a baseball game. The dialogue is spoken slightly slowly for emphasis.)))

(- Dennis Eckersley threw the baseball to Terry Steinbach that was sitting squatted at home plate. -)

Terry Steinbach

That you would throw me thus ball and that twould the pitcher of pitchers throw meesus that which is of opulent gesture and of the gestures that a pitcher could gesture to send the ball in my direction here behind the diamond that we form the ring around and of the rings we have formed none are so taken as to be this that this was a warm up pitch and that there are two more to come and then we we play the game that we have come to play.


Please do not forget about me for I provide the rules that we have come to play the rules to the rules are the rules that the rules are rules and of the rules we follow the rules in the rules are rules and for rules being rules there rules to follow and we follow the rules in as much as rules are to be followed.

(- Terry Steinbach throws the ball back to Nolan Ryan -)

Dennis Eckersley

Oh that this sphere of twine and leather would be so round. That I could curve it and bend it and open it in my air that is the throwing that I do some seventy times a game again I say I throw seventy times a game and the catcher is but bended knee the entire time and of bended knees the entire time the catcher sits there upon bended knee the ball is hurled oh how it is hurled and sent to the opening of the mit that one must admit is but a trap that the batter oh whoever he is does tis it matter that twould the batter ever such wonder if he could hit a hurl from the Ryan did I ever fear the batter oh did I ever fear the batter.

(- Dennis Eckersley throws the ball to Terry Steibach -)

Eric Davis

Yeah that pitcher. That guy. That guy that is standing there working with this guy. Some guy on bended knees sitting there wondering if their plans were going to go right. If their plans were going to go according to the plans they have inscribed in their mits and they collaborate oh and they work with the Umpire and I’m standing here with a stick in my hands and I am working this out that I got this swing in me yeah. This swing that I have in me I swing with the swing of swings and they are going to try and pull something here. Oh look the ball just went by again. Look at this one. Oh look. There are some people to my right center and left. I got three men in outtest field that are standing there hoping that I am going to be short by a short distance and I have five men in the short field hoping that my long distance is even shorter than my short long distance and I am going to be taking my big swing I have been before the Ryan before the Nolan the Nolan Ryan and the Ryan Nolan and I have been before this situation so many times in my life going back to youth I have and the ball is coming and I am reaching back into my glory days and I am sending an arch in my back to a step in my legs and I am turning my waist and I am cracking this one and I am sending it out of the park on the first and they have already thrown it three times for practice and the game has begun and from my eyes and from my position out numbered nine to one with an umpire hoping I do or do not neutral in his stance and I find that there is a meaning in my movement and here is the contact and the ball is no more.

(- Eric Davis hits the first pitch into the bleachers of center field and it’s another late game first pitch home runs that a Cincinnati Red could achieve in his dominance of the game from the 1990 Cincinnati Red’s Home Run Machine comes another Home Run. -)

Marty Brennaman

I’ll call it I shall that this is a long one this is a deep one and this is a one that is a one to be won by. We have one more point for the Reds a Single Solo Shot deep back and forth into the fourth seat bleachers of Riverfront Stadium and we have players confused and belucked by the pluck of the Eric Davis that is the Eric that is the Davis that is the opening of the can you believe it the Eric Davis hit one opener and it flew to the ends of eternity and inside of eternity there was a cry from the …

Marge Schott : No. Just No. Just. No. Baseball is stupid.

Marty Brennaman

And I wish she wouldn’t talk like that but may the Gods bring us cheerleaders into this diamond mine of people playing the first game that was played and we don’t know much about crickets but we know something about baseball and crickets don’t get paid much to play but we don’t get much attention from the queen but we do the President and maybe for the first time there was a time that people saw words for what they were twas notes and the only note I have for this opening drive is that there would be a galvanization of epoch that would come betwixt my throat and a Congratulations to the Cincinnati Reds for winning the Sweep that is the Sweep of Sweeps and could you imagine a sweeter message to take than the history of Baseball that would be being watched and…

Thom Brennaman

Now hold on there we call every game perfect because perfection is the game of Baseball. Does it not bring the people together and does it not bring the least amount of product into the most amount of use sans the stadium of course of which do we need the stadium and do we need the bleachers or do we just need a field and some hot dogs to do we need the much do we need oh need do we what do we need we come together in harmony to bring ourselves into this division of labor and game and we labor in the game and we make amends with this that is here.

Dennis Eckersley

Oh another one. Another one has taken the field in this 9th inning they are behind and the need to scoreth a two set is upon them and i have my side arm with me and we have our wanting to be throwing this ball into the hands of the catcher and the game is much more than you could understand and i have the arm that is winning and they have the game that is through it all and this is there game and we have come a long way not to be defeated in this 4th game of the World Series a game that we are three down and we shall not be four and in four games they shall not defeat us in this 9th inning of the baseball that we call our visiting status visiting and we are again to be lost in this game if i am not to be throwing the ball and down they are and up we are and if i shall throw this ball again i shall throw it agains and again and we shall have our notes to play again but oh how long we have to go to over come the three down but we play and we play and we have been playing and they do not call us the A’s for nothing that we would become the B’s oh shall we would sting so many if such would happen leave with broken backs and arms and legs if twould we should sweep ourselves off of this rug.

Chris Sabo

Yeah. I get it. I know. It’s my turn at bat. Oh. I let one go looking. Oh look. I let one go looking. Oh Look. I swung. Oh. Apparently it’s the bottom of this and I need to do something. Okay. So. Apparently I need to swing a little harder and oh there it goes. Into left field. I have left the ball go into left field and I have spun a miracle. I do this all the time and the time does this all the time to me.

DennIs Eckersley

Alright. I got a man on and the man is on and the on is the man and I am trying to be something here and that I could be something I need to do something. So I’m going to strike down the next two. I’m tired of this. I am begotten we have no outs. It is the bottom and at that bottom there is something to be said for winning. Alright. Wam. Strike. Strike. Strike. Strike Out. Alright here is the next batter. Okay. He is up here to bat to be here he is he is up here at the bat and I can see him and he is here and it’s something to see something and I see something. I see. Strike Strike Strike.

Barry Larkin

Laugh. Guffaw. I already saw this. I won the game. I won the game and hit the game winning homerun. I saw this before. Brennie’s watching so I have to be going to be doing the thing that is to be done and I am doing the thing and there is thing to be doing done and I have done thing done thing done done and I’m going to let the first one go by. I did that. I let it go by. They are playing catch for the first two. Oh maybe they are trying to walk me. Two balls from one ball and the balls are the same ball and they just keep reusing the same equipment which is why sports are athletics which are stadium friendly and alright. I hear we are losing. So Ima gonna just let this one hit left field becasue the left fielder can’t jump the wall I can I did it before in practice even though I am a short stop watch me watch the watching tower and I am swing oh look there we just won. It’s not hard to win in the bottom of the 9th we do this every rotation around the time dimension and ever 1990 we sweep the game clean and we sweep and they weep and we keep ourselves in our history book and those people watching television keep thesmselves busy and we be swinging you know what I am going to do right now. I am going to run the bases and I am going to there is this thing called 1st base and I am going to get my kiss with the base and here I go gonna walk and Oakland can suck it we swept em on the field and on the scree and we just need to oh look there is a second base I have to run so I am going to do that as well and we are going to round to second and then oh look there is a third and look here there is a fourth base I dare say I am home.

Dennis Eckersley

This funny oh this is not our team it has lostly lost and we have been sweepethed and swept and sweepied and we have a great tone in our wonderment it’s time to go home now and we have nothing and nothing we have and of the nothing we have we have nothing we have no ones singles or more we have less and there is nothing to be said.

Marty Brennaman

This sport actually it does and we win every year there is baseball being played and our city has the soap and the airplane engines and the television journalism and the baseball and aaaalmost the football but Canton has that and we win sometimes and sometimes we win. These guys. These baseball players they sometimes do the thing known as winning and they keep playing and the balls keep being thrown and the bats keep being swung and the world keeps being played and it’s isn’t Griffey in Seatlle right now. I think so and we miss him but he played here and we played with him and Saint Margarat Mary is where Griffey played and it was right next to Nicholas Lawson’s upbringing and the world is dancing and the Reds’ are winners and the Bengals are 8-1 and we used to be Oh and the Cincinnati is the same and we have this pride in our city that is like divinity passed out in dixie cups and we have all of our worlds being worlds and we are who we are and it’s something to be who we are and who managed the 90’s Reds?

Lou Pinella

Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright! Alright!

Marty Brennaman

Thank’s Lou.

Joe Nuxhall



The Moment the Bible was Requisitioned

“James, you requisitioned a book. How about this. We’ll take the wildly successful Torah and write a book that gets essentially attached to the end of it. Let’s extend an ancient holy text and start with a story about a man named Jesus that society hates so much they end his life and then feels love for after he survives their sincere attempt to end his life for flipping over the tables of the money changer’s temple. “Said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“James, if you really want a book that is going to sell, write a book and couple it with a book that has a history of successfully selling. I got this Torah right here, I can rewrite that in English. Then to produce Kingly Riches for you James, I can attach this other book entitled the New Testament to the Torah that we will rechristen the Old Testament. So now we have a Bible that is comprised of the Old Testament and the New Testament. All of these families desire the Old Testament, they also want new writing so sell them the Old Testament with this New Testament coupled with it out of your production studio.” continued the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“Riches never ending.” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“I don’t know how interested I am in never ending warfare because if I was this would lead to that.” said James.

“Here is what never ending warfare will do for you. You asked for my services. I will deliver you this. Not only am I producing a book for you that you summoned me to produce, I am in the process of producing an entire business model for you. The book is the product here. It’s the way I am going about producing this product for you. You are going to be involved in rewriting history. There are elements of this history that your population are going to be made aware of. There is this element named Constantine that is going to be written into the education system that you oversee.” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“We are rewriting history?” said James.

“Absolutely. We are in the process of curating indecipherable scrolls that we are going to unveil in literally twenty years just to prove that this book that we are producing now is more ancient than it is. The older we can prove this story is, the more valuable it will seem to people. James, you don’t want people devoted to you. You want people devoted to an object. You want people fearful of you and devoted to an object. In being devoted to the object and fearful of you. You have the power you are looking for.” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“Why do I need this much power?” asked James.

“Because life is boring and you were born into a family that made a lot of the right decisions in life and studied architecture and educated itself for more than half a generation and because unlike ninety percent of these people you can read and since you know how to read and you know how to write you can understand at a very fundamental level that objects are created. People that cannot read lack the fundamental understanding that objects are created as I understand it or something I don’t know that is my best guess for what it would be like not to know how to read that the world would be filled with shapes and the shapes the world would be filled with would be indecipherable. Those people singing for money. They don’t know how to read so they sing rhymes because they cannot create more than sound.” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“I love to listen to the people sing.” said James.

“We rope them in too. Have you ever heard of a ‘choir’?” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“No. What is a ‘choir’?” said James.

“You’ll love it. At the book opening when we finish the leather bound version of this book that sells for an entire estate. We are also selling this new concept where included in the price of that estate and the price of this leather bound book, we round up all and I do mean all of the singers in Kensington and we give them brand new sheet music to sing that coincides with the plight of the main character of the New Testament Jesus AND we contract them to do it every day and we call that style Catholic.” said the Famous Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“There is going to be song sung about this book every day?” said James.

“Yes. No one else is doing it.” Said the Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“What will the ‘choir’ be called?” said James.

“The Choir of Angels.” said the Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“What’s an ‘Angel’?” said James.

“A Homeless Destitute Pauper that can really only make sound with its mouth is an ‘Angel’… for now … unless you requisition this project. We are saving the homeless. It’s going to be the Hark that Heralds Herald. You can have your own version. It will be called the King James Version and it will be the first version of something that will be an entire industry that started in ancient times. We live in Ancient Times in this industry James. That is how famous you are as King and without the war, without the loss of life of the atheists, your Kingship just won’t be remembered in the blood it could be.” said the Hollywood Book Producer of the Middle Ages.

“How long will they speak my name?” said James.


Chapter 1:

Opening: The Cincinnati Zoo is in the process of finalizing the paperwork for turning Fountain Square into a place where people can drop their pets off that they want to have adopted.

Middle: Someone gets a Light from CNN on their PlasticI implant that lets it be known a massive spaceship filled with hyper conscious spiders is on it’s way to landing in Antarctica.

Ending: Someone calls a Grippo’s representative just to make certain they are financing the deal.

Chapter 2:

Opening : Opens his eyes laying in a bed surrounded by 4000 bottles of liquor that have yet to be opened. A weasel wakes him up. He’s just laying there blinking off and on for some time.

Middle: He clicks the ceiling on and lays down staring at middle of the line 3Delio sphericurviture upglass computer to book his Super Zip to the show. He finally decides to do something.

End: He steps outside of his http://www.dreeshomes.com/ and into a Super Zip that takes him to the stage.

Chapter 3:

Opening: He is pulls his MasterFulls from their diamond glass holding case and clicks them on with his tongue.

Middle: He has a drink at the Starbucks in the Horseshoe Casino one super thick hottie tot.

Closing: He takes the stage and gives the audience a show.

Chapter 4:

Opening: Spiderifica Ohmywoses was at the helm. It was articulating the need to land in near the penguin troupe.

Middle: The Spiders land.

End: CNN dispatches a Camera crew into a Pliff and they make their way to the landing.

Chapter 5:

Opening: Someone is in use of the Creative Suite on the Infinitium in Fountain Square.

Middle: They are manipulating a live image of themselves in Adobe Premiere of themselves from three different angles from three different cameras.

End: Someone comes up and introduces themselves and says hello.

Chapter 6:

Opening: The Northside Tavern is holding a show for rappers that are vying for a month’s drink tab.

Middle: Chinook Sentience takes off on his song that is Revolutions and our need for it.

End: Romeo signs him to a record deal after buying him more drinks than Chinook should have drank.

Chapter 7:

Opening: A department head for the Cincinnati Zoo is walking around the zoo observing the dogs and cats that are walking around noticing how astutely the small robots that clean up the fecile do their job.

Middle: He notices one of the robots was picked up and punted by a young adult.

End: He lets the young adult know that he has to go pick up the robot and that he would appreciate in very strong words if he would not do that.

Chapter 8:

Opening: Lucius calls his woman Lucille and asks her if she wanted to meet for lunch at Melt.

Middle: She let’s him know she can’t and that she can’t see him anymore.

Ending: Lucius becomes morose and lays on the ground staring at his ceiling listening to the Tron Soundtrack by Daft Punk trying to figure out how to win her back, sadly.

Chapter 9:

Opening: Lucile is on WordPress working on her story.

Middle: She notices she has fewer views on her website than she had previously.

End: She decides to get to the bottom of it.

Chapter 10:

Opening: CNN Reports that 16 spiders that are apparently drones have come out of the clearly Fathership and that they each have 24 legs.

Middle: Three of them slowly approach a penguin and surround it.

End: They lock four of their arms with each other and begin to close in.

Chapter 11:

Opening: Lucius makes his way to the Infinitium.

Middle: He opens his account and pulls up his performance files only to notice apparently his account has been hacked.

End: He pulls up the cPanel to check back access to the database.

Chapter 12:

Opening: A Cincinnati Zoo Cleric notices that their Kickstarter Ongoing Numbers are up.

Middle: He wonders.

End: Based on what he can tell, apparently Lucius has been doing some work at the Casino on behalf of the Cincinnati Zoo.

Chapter 13:

Opening: Lucille calls the CenterI and requests to speak with an TeamI representative and when she does she discovers that she did not have one less view, she got a downvote.

Middle: Lucille discusses how this should have been made more clear that they were votes and not views.

End: She is instructed to read the instruction file that she firmly admits she has not done yet.

Chapter 14:

Opening: A pack of penguins notices that one of the penguins are clearly in trouble.

Middle: 4200 penguins form a circle around the 3 twenty four armed spiders that have formed a circle around the penguin. The other drones retreat.

End: A lot of standing around and the Fathership is starting to glow.

Chapter 15:

Opening: Spiderifica Ohymywoses notices the imminent trouble with getting the penguin on board the Fathership.

Middle: She gets up out of her chair having read the manual on penguin nomenclature, she decides she had better give a speech.

End: The penguins notice a lovely eight legged spideress walking out onto the ice.

Chapter 16:

Opening: Lucius is on stage with his Masterful Spheres and he is producing a juggliaria.

Middle: He does the trick he always does at the show and drops a floating sphere into the hands of an audience member and brings her on stage.

End: She tells him she wants to see him after the show.

Chapter 17:

Opening: That night Chanook makes his way into the recording studio that broadcasts live through the Live Event Podcast to the entire planet.

Middle: He actually has a problem with the standard backing track that everyone sings to.

End: He loses his deal that day.

Chapter 18:

Opening: A Grippo’s head is standing on stage in Fountain Square making the opening final announcement that every time you drop an animal off to run around in Fountain Square a Cincinnati Zoo attendant will take it to the Cincinnati Zoo.

Middle: A SPCA representative gets upset knowing that the final nail is in the coffin and they lament that they have to participate as part of the festivities by bringing all of their animals for the opening.

End: 200 Zookeepers from the around the United States show up to show support for this ground breaking initiative and assist with the adopting of the now zoo animals that are in attendance.

Chapter 19:

Opening: Lucille writes a post letting her readers on WordPress know that at the very least they could write her a message letting her know they have a problem with her writing she would be happy to change it.

Middle: Someone writes back quickly that it’s just as easy to downvote her writing.

End: She writes them back that that is not even helpful and they retort with the idea that the vote buttons are there for a reason and she hrumphs.

Chapter 20:

Opening: The Spiderifica Ohmywoses makes a grand speech to the penguins of antarctica stating that there is a good reason to adopt the penguin because antarctica is so cold.

Middle: The penguins rally and attack the drones who then lower, stop, and jump to safety.

End: The penguin that was going to be adopted makes it’s way back to the pack.

Chapter 21:

Opening: Lucius ends his show and goes backstage.

Middle: The woman that he handed the ball to was awaiting him.

End: She gives him a kiss on the cheek.

Chapter 22:

Opening: Lucille calls Lucius and let’s him know she was having a bad day and wants to get back together.

Middle: Lucius lets her know that he wants to get married.

End: She accepts and says he has to get rid of his liquor bottle collection.

Chapter 23:

Opening: CNN Reports that the penguins are all safe now but it appears that 2000 mini spiders have produced some small boats that they are making their ways to the coast of Antarctica with quite quickly and they appear to be making their way into the ocean.

Middle: CNN notices there is a very small spider on the windshield of the Pliff and they use the wiper blades to get rid of it.

End: Fourteen very large spiders start to sprint for the Pliff as CNN jumps in and starts the rotater blades.

Chapter 24:

Opening: The Cincinnati Zookeepers make their way ceremoniously to the Cincinnati Zoo where they drive the trucks into the open plot of land in the center of it where they let all of the animals go.

Middle: One of the dogs is afraid to leave the truck.

End: A Cincinnati Zoo Keeper picks it up and walks it out of the truck letting it know, it’s alright.

Chapter 25:

Opening: Lucius calls a priest from Saint Margaret Mary and requests that he oversee a marriage ceremony at the Horseshoe Casino in two weeks.

Middle: Lucille tries on her dress she saved from the last time she called the wedding off.

End: Lucius makes the announcement that he is marrying Lucille to the audience and someone requests his presence at the poker table.

Chapter 26:

Opening: Chanook is confused and has to have it explained to him what he is not going to experience.

Middle: Chanook explains it’s a terrible backing track.

End: Chanook has it explained to him that it’s a backing track that has a Grammy Associated with it and that it’s Cincinnati’s standard backing track at this point and it’s never going to change.

Chapter 27:

Opening: The spiders that have left the ship are now making their way into the water around the coast of Antarctica in an outward spiral pattern towards the full coastline.

Middle: CNN can’t handle the situation and makes it’s way back to the mainland.

End: The entire planet has to decide whether or not it’s going to be afraid of 4000 1″ x 1″ by 2″ boats making their way into the water, it could take years before they get anywhere.

Chapter 28:

Opening: That night there is an overnight slumber party with the new animals and most of the animals are adopted that night.

Middle: Someone points out that maybe all of the animals should stay at the zoo.

End: The Cincinnati Zoo laments how the SPCA is taking them to court.

Chapter 29:

Opening: Lucile writes in her WordPress that she is getting married at the Horseshoe Casino.

Middle: Her readers all let her know that they will be there, except for the people that let her know her marriage is going to fail.

End: She writes everyone back the date and time of the wedding and the dress code.

Chapter 30:

Opening: The Spiderifica Ohymywoses lets the spiders in their boats know to dive straight down once they reach the coast and to bring back the deepest ice samples they can find.

Middle: She laments that if she can’t bring back a penguin she is going to steal their ice.

End: CNN reports erroneously that the spiders are making their way for the continents everyone gets afraid on the planet.

Chapter 31:

Opening: Lucius takes Lucille into his arms in his chateau he just closed on from Drees and he lets her know her G-String has to stay on until they get married.

Middle: She lets him know the G-String is coming off.

End: He lets her know it’s not.

Chapter 32:

Opening: The Mayor of the City of Cincinnati let’s the SPCA know that it’s not going to have it’s day in court.

Middle: The SPCA lets it be known that this is no way to function as a city.

End: The Mayor lets the SPCA know that that is not true.

Chapter 33:

Opening: Chanook let’s notices that there are some spiders that landed in Antarctica from a space ship and remarks, that they just want some ice.

Middle: His girl friend lets him know that they are going to take over the planet.

End: He lets her know that they just want some ice.

Chapter 34:

Opening: Lucius is reviewing the Infinitium logs and he realizes it’s someone from Dayton, Ohio that intervened in his files and he only knows one person that could have done it or that would want to do it and it’s this guy that said he was going to get even with him for not closing his account the way he wanted it closed ceremoniosly.

Middle: Lucius shows Lucille what has happened and she pulls up the cPanel and unleashes a virus on the culprit that looks like it came from as he predicted Dayton, Ohio because as Lucius knows, she is a very astute hacker.

End: Lucius pays Lucille $2,000 for her white collar work and she takes the money and spends it at the Horseshoe Casino at the Poker table.

Chapter 35:

Opening: Chanook realizes that alright, maybe, just maybe he can work with the city’s backing track and they let him know his first audio on the backing track has to be about how amazing the backing track is.

Middle: Chanook grits his teeth.

End: He unleashes an aria that he only ever said he would perform live and he just leaves it on the mic.

Chapter 36:

Opening: Spiderifica Ohmywoses let’s it be known that there is trouble coming and they need to bring the ice back immediately wherever they are at in their ice picking.

Middle: As the birds of Antarctica have begun to frenzy at the sight of the spiders and they are dive bombing the spiders but the spiders are faster than the birds to the chagrin of the birds.

End: Spiderifica Ohmywoses makes certain all of the spiders are back on board and that the ice is safe.

Chapter 37:

Opening: One dog did not get adopted at the ceremonious Cincinnati Zoo’s “Adoption of the Animals” Festival and it’s an adult male pit bull.

Middle: The Cincinnati Zoo decides it can stay.

End: The Pit Bull looks around and starts playing with one of the zoo keepers.

Chapter 38:

Opening: It’s the day of the wedding at the Horseshoe Casino. The spiders take off in their space ship. The pit bull is at home. Chanook gets on the mic.

Middle: The audience buys the audience a round of drinks at the Rock Lounge. The spiders let the ants know that even the penguins can defend themselves. The pit bull escapes from the zoo through an unlocked door. Chanook sings his heart out.

End: Lucius takes off Lucilles g-string for the first time and she says he frustrated her for too long. The ants decide to colonize Mars since it wasn’t easy to get the penguin. The zoo keepers scatter in all directions looking for the pit bull. Chanook signs his record deal and gets the free studio house he didn’t know was in his deal to lounge in as part of Vitae Productions.


Female Empowerment

Jane wanted to play with her mouse. She had one right next to her set top box. It had two buttons on it. One was the right mouseketeer. The other was the left mouseketeer. The left mouseketeer got a lot of action from her index finger on her right hand. She wanted a left hand mouse. What she really wanted were two mice that she could use in either hand at the same time. She wanted a balanced computer. Her computer did not seem balanced with just one mouse. She thought of all of the clever things she could do with mice as opposed to a mouse. She wanted two mice to play with each other so that she could play the keyboard with her feet. Like an organ.

If the computer had a square monitor she would be happy.

The toast that she has in the toaster is toasting and she has some jam that she wants to spread over the crusting bread.

Today is the day Jane gets in the mood to go for a walk. She has been eating mustard leaves and goat cheese for breakfast for the last few days along with some olives from the store. She just learned to like olives. She decided they are what healthy food tastes like. Olives.


She has oil in her system now because of the olives. They do taste oily. She does not mind. She is growing sort of fond of and used to the fact that she is going to be eating olives for quite some time to come. Whenever she goes to the grocery store she is going to buy olives because of the way they taste healthy. She wants to eat pizza from DiGiorno’s but instead she is going to eat olive’s and mustard greens. She knows what is healthy for her at the grocery store.

She was tipped off from paying attention in a conversation once that if you groc around the sides of a grocery store you will find the best food you can find. A deli playing adele music is not a grocery that is something else. A grocery that sells all the food is where you can go krogering if you are interested in doing so. Jane feels like krogering a few times a month.

The wind is cold in the near end of winter and Jane is playing catch with her frisbee that she has named yo yo. It has a string attached to it and she throws it out and it whiplashes back.

She gets on her cell phone and pulls up tindr. She swipes to the right on the first boy she sees and he messages her.

Wut up?

Not surprised so she says.


He write.

Wanna hang out.

She types back.


So a date is set and Jane and Boy decide to meet under an over pass to eat some cookies.

She calls the police to let them know that she is meeting a boy under and over pass.

s a good place to take photographs.

They let her know that the appreciate the phone call and that it was a responsible thing to call them since she has no idea who this boy could be.

She lives alone.

She has an instinct that everything is going to be fine but she got into a fight with someone once before from Tinder and she didn’t know how that night would turn out.

She calls the police every night she is going to meet someone she has never met before on the internet now. Just to be certain of something.

To be certain that she can say she did so and they will know that she did.

It makes her feel empowered and safe even though she is alone.

Just making a good decision can make someone feel so empowered.

She gets her coat on and walks down the street past a vegan white castle and to the spot that was decided on under and under pass. She has a tin of cookies with her that she wants to photograph in different locations with her Vivatar camera. She wants to photograph the cookies being eaten and she wants to post them to the Tinder Successful Date Photo Gallery Of People Having Fun that she is a fan of.

It’s heavily followed on Reddit and the sub reddit moderator is cool and lets people show cleavage. But no nipples or he deletes the posts.

Anyways Super Dan shows up and he is ready to model for Jane. Jane has her camera with her and she pointedly states.

Strike a pose.

Dan says.

Like this.

Jane says.

Sort of perfect.

Stop talking.

Super Dan looks super confused.

Female empowerment.

My First Music Video

Alright so like the most pop sound you could possibly imagine is playing like something just super pop.

Then like you see me taking a nap on a park bench in Burnett Woods.

Then like I get struck by lighting.

Then I survive.

Then I open my mouth and the most powerful lazer ever imagined eminates from it.

Then I spin in a circle and like take off a slice off the moon, part of like Neptune disappears, and like someone gets offed in another galaxy.

Then I close my mouth and just look around.

Then noticing that I am safe.

I lay back down and go back to my nap.

Fade into Dream Sequence

Smurfette is on Vitae Magazine Dot Com leaving a comment.

Then I wake up again and aim my head down and open my mouth.

I am now being propelled by the force of the lazer into the sky.

I pass a flock of bald eagles that are happening by.

I give the thumbs up that everything is okay.

I close my mouth for a moment to lose altitude.

Then I open it up again as I am flexing my entire body.

I am then propelled into the stratosphere where I am scared shitless.

Then I realize that I can time travel too.

So I send the most powerful lazer beam back to the origin of the universe where I start it all over.

Then I lightly let myself down back to earth.

Then I realize even that is a dream.

Then I stand up from the park bench.

Start whistling.


A Post On Writing …

Alright students, I am your professor Professor Professor and I am here today to speak to you about English. It has come to my attention that recently the internet has reached a plataeu in the English language and that there is not enough color in your vocabulary. I want to talk to you about K-Mart words. These are words like cat and dog. See cat and dog are K-Mart words. What you want to do when you get to those pivotal moments in a piece of writing is that instead of saying cat or dog you say feline or canine. Get it. Alright the reason why you do this is quite simple. There are words within this English language that do carry more weight than others. Its not about how deep you are. No one gives a fuck about that. Its about how heavy you are. There is a difference between deep and heavy. See deep is like when you tweet something like … Oh My Gawd Like Tomorrow Will Be Today Someday. Like that’s deep. See no one gives a shit about deep. I learned that the hard way. You can spend too much time being deep with someone when you are constantly trying to come up with a business plan. Like yes congratulations you are creating cogent sentences that do have a subject and predicate. You are in line with subject and verb agreement and from time to time you even use a beautiful adjective or something like that. Thing is you need to be heavy. Heavy is where its at. See you can never be too heavy. Heavy is where all of the magic in the English Language is. Heavy is where you infuse a decision into your writing and you can only really be heavy if you have spent enough time reading to know what all of the deep writing is. Like there are millions of pages of deep writing. But heavy writing is where you know a trend in the deep writing world and you just kind of go askew for a second. Like you up on English in a way that lets you know something along the lines of something like this … its when you purposefully utilize words that you are quite certain ain being used that often. Its like when you writing heavy writing you can basically be writing the same style of story that has always written before but because you up on what the typical style of writing is on the only thing that people are reading now a days … if you know the basic colors of the internet writing styles … you can go off color and the more slightly you are off color in parts of your tone, parts of your vocabulary, it can give your writing weight. Like your typical internet writing is on a certain wavelength because so god damned many people are watching television like its the gold standard in communication. It ain. So like to the degree esssentially which you can weave inside and outside of the way the langauge typically is disseminated to the public at large and to the degree with which you can intersperse your own nice little stylistic choices is to the degree you is heavy.

Lets go over this again. Like if you know what most people are reading say around the world. And you know for certain that places like Reddit, Digg, and Wired have a certain percentage of the writing audience on earth. You can take that into account and based on what you see at Reddit, Digg, and Wired and you can utilize the fact that they are a quality sampling of the style of writing that exists on the internet currently and basically all you have to do is keep your subjects in line with your verbs so that you ain writing lines like the ferris wheel spoke which makes no sense. Instead you take a typical line from like Reddit.com which is super heavy online right now which means to a certain extent it has a leadership quality in English on the internet. I would say that most people on Reddit are writing at like an 11th grade level based on the story telling that I am reading so keeping that in mind that the writing level of Reddit which is a healthy cross section of the population, you cater to that writing level. Like I know from Reddit that there is a standard style of writing that people not totally conscious with how performance writing works and how colors of the English language work and may or may not be on vocabulary auto-pilot … like I can read. I read a couple places online and I just notice that the color of the writing is very similar across a sub section of the board for the most part.

I have been writing for ten years so on a regular basis when I am writing my sentences I am typically extremely adept at high speed word choice and for the most part I naturally understand from thousands of pages of writing how to affect the color of the writing I am crafting. I typically never really start writing anything unless I can think of a good jump off sentence or concept line. Once I have my concept line its just a matter of following the math for the most part or knowing how to segue into some different math aka style of language. Like when I say style of math its like I am talking about the inspiration for the word choices. Like I am for the most part very in control of what I write and when I was writing at Nicholas Lawson Dot Com that was like where I was doing my katas and was in training. Now I am at Vitae Magazine and because I engaged in regular expressions of robustly unnacceptable writing. I learned the opposite lesson as well. Like I broke so many rules atwww.nicholaslawson.com BUT I always made sure to delete my work. I never left anything inflammatory on the front page for more than like an hour or so. I have this one frame to share my writing and its like on vitaemagazine.com I have this elongated frame that just stretches east. Notice how I said east instead of left. Its like east has more heft than left because people talk about left all of the time. Its like the heavier words are all of the words you are familiar with but have not heard in a certain length of time.

I just really enjoy utilizing words that people have not heard since ancient times for the most part because to me its the slightly ancient words that carry the most weight. Professor Professor Out.

The Wedding

It was Sunday. The Church was packed with Oreos, Snickers, Ho Hos, the Orange Family. The floor was covered in gummy bears. The Peppermint Man began to play the tangelo organ on the key lime ivories. It was the classic Coca Cola theme song that played at every Splendiferous Wedding. As the congregants stood in anticipation of the wedding of the Millenium Chewbacca was eating a granola bar and Miss Candy Sunshine was doing hopsctoch. Then a dolphin coughed up some glitter and fourteen clouds had a color battle. The moment had arrived and UGK was did the crip walk krump while Keynan Ivory Wayans high fived Garth Brooks as the Thunder kept its mouth shut for once.

At the front of the Juice Castle stood Lisa Frank the presiding Minister from Give Em Stickers Until the World Ends University. Well she turned in fourteen circles and did a somersault which was the traditional way to begin a marriage ceremony of this historic magnitude.

In walked Smoky J. The man of the hour. Man was he cool. Everyone was super super super jealous of him in the Evil Corporate Headquarters Poison Ivy Distribution Plant. He quite his job as the Most High and was a hop scotch champion in the Everglades for about six years. He made purple skittles smiling for a living.

The Ceremony began.

And there she was. Tagalong. The Princess. Princess Tagalong had finally found her man. Princess Tagalong searched through parking lots all over the country from Krogers to Get Your Food Here Inc to Kwiki Mart Parking Lots and thousands of Cheerleading Competitions. She finally fell in real adult love. She was smitten with Smoky J. He was standing at the front of Juice Castle in the space where the groom is supposed to stand. Lisa Frank was just high on life imaging a quantum smile fractal. Everyone was a little spaced out but hey, at least they were in the right building.

Pope YouTube was cheesing.

Buskin Robbins had sent some flowers. There was a pile of scales and plastic baggies about four feet high.

The front row of the Juice Castle was decorated with some denk hydro plants that were just for decoration. Bozo the Clown could not make it do to the fact that he could not find his bonkers nose.

Well , as was tradition in Euphoric Psychotic Perfect Love County. The ceremony would be short as everyone was fairly certain they were missing the latest episode of Duck Tales.

Alright heres what happened next. Princess Tagalong sprinted like a mofo and high fived Smoky J. Smoky J was like. We doin it. Princess Tagalong was like. Word.

Jay Z was like … Hova Approves and kissed his opal pinky ring for good luck.

Then the deed was done and that is the story of how Girl Scout Cookies and Marijuana became the first two businesses to become wed into the eternal future of time. As apparently the game plan is to spread out like the Girl Scouts will scout out some Prime Girl Scout Locations and the Marijuana Corporation will invest in mad real estate.

Just Remember in about 100 years when the two wealthiest people are just running shit don’t be surprised if they just doing it for a merit badge that ain no one ever unlock before.

Word is Bond. May Girl Scout Cookies and Marijuna be wed in eternal bliss as , certainly no one saw it coming … but who could state how perfect such a thing is. It just kind of seems like all you need to know is that a girl scout found the sweet spot and a dispensary finally fell in love.

The End.

A Love Letter to No One In Particular

I could be the rain that brings a desert some roses. The sands of time pass one moment through the hourglass. I believe in miracles that could never amount to anything more than an astonishing amount of transcendence. I believe in miracles yet unseen. One of these days I am going to meet a beautiful woman and we are going to fall in love. I transcend the miracles of life that surround me nightly. Every now and again I think about the time I saw a cicada fall from a tree and die. I surround myself with better people than I am. I have friends that do not have the time to talk to me. I make my own resources in a world that is destined for divinity. I see the ants in the ant farm milling about and I wonder where their queen is. It has been a long time since I have been in love. I still think about my first kiss. I spent too much time trying to decipher reality and then I fell in love with people that do not know who I am. I come from a queen city that knows so little about me. I am fine with being tortured mentally for ten years because it only made me stronger. I could try and recite some poetry but no one loves poetry like I do. I believe in reincarnation and maybe we will see each other again. One of these days I am finally going to lose the rest of the weight I gained on some pills that were supposed to make me better. Nothing means everything next to someone that is holding your hand. I believe in beauty in a way that makes me feel that everyone is. I have found enough silver linings around the clouds of my life that I could build a cube with ten foot sides. Sometimes I think to myself that writing is the only thing I was ever meant to do. I am less humble than I am proud. I am proud of who I am because I think that the universe was made with people like me in mind. One of these days I am going to enter the gates of heaven and then I am going to turn around and come right back here to purgatory and spend time with people deciding if they want to go to heaven or hell. I have been a dancer all of my life. One of these days I am finally going to meet someone that is going to want to go on a date. I could be the man that changes your life for the better or helps you get through that difficult spate in your life. Every now and then I try and perform at a show just so that people know that poets do poetic things. I believe in nature and that I am somehow connected to the pygmy goats that I see walking around my reality. Women love small gestures of kindness more than they like twelve page letters. I know this because I have tried. One of you women might like me and the rest might like someone else. I am fine with being single I get to spend time with myself that way. I see small people doing big things. I try and fathom eternity from a moment in time. Sometimes I walk for long distances just to see where I end up and I get lost trying to find myself. I write so much that there is no hope for me to ever make sense again unless I am sitting here with an alphabet trying to make sense of the world. I wish I could make the world make sense but that might not happen for a long time. The rain falls mostly on the plains of Spain because the Spaniards deserve the water they receive. From time to time I look at woman and wonder what they are looking for. I never really know if they see a man in me but I am new to being an adult man anyways. I believe that the world is changing faster than people can keep up with. I see smart phones being used by confused people. I see change occurring in so many places that I just have to wonder where this is all going. Do you ever think about how old some people are? Do you ever wonder where they were before they are where they are right now? One time I discovered the difference between this moment and this moment and I wondered what the distance between two moments was. Was it four inches or four light years? Could there be a mathematical equation developed that would help us locate ourselves when we lose ourselves in society? Every now and again I wish on a star and then I throw a penny on the sidewalk. Because I was trained in the world of ways of worlds that have never been I sometimes try and imagine if John Lennon was killed because he wrote the song Imagine. Did he imagine a world where he would die because of a gun shot. Did Yoko Ono miss him or did she just keep trying to become more famous than the beatles? How many slices of bread are in a typical loaf? Why did David Thoreau spend so much time observing a pond. Is it possible to reach a point in life where you just want to help people live their lives better until they know why you are doing what you are doing? Did you sleep well last night because I had a dream that you were sleeping in a dream waiting to wake up. Maybe the world stops spinning if you think about it enough. What would happen if everyone on earth either stared at the moon or the sun at the same time? Why is the moon the same size as the sun in the sky? Which came first the answer or the question? How often do we really take the time to meet someone new? Could cars be time machines since they save so much of it? Would our towns be more interesting if everyone did not drive downtown to work in a job they did not want to do? What happens when the writers start being honest? Do you ever think about the fact that without designers we would have no letters to type with? Do you ever think about if we had no writers we would have no sentences to talk with? Does it ever occur to you that college students work harder than retail store clerks? Do you ever think about the fact that the future is something we build and that it just does not just happen? The past is what is but the future is everything that is not but could be. How many times do you have to get your heart broken before you stop trying to mend it and put the pieces back together? When the world is changing do you ever notice? How often do the winds of change have to blow before you fall asleep and let it happen? If you could be anyone you wanted to be , would it be you? I could be a minister or I could be a gangster or I could be a priest or I could be a secretary or I could be myself. The most astonishing moment in a man’s life is when he realizes he is conscious. The second most astonishing moment is when he realizes that his eyeballs are attached to his brain. The third most astonishing moment in a man’s life is when he realizes his art will live on longer than he will. I could be the man that changes your life and you could be the woman that changes mine. This is a love letter to no one in particular. I believe in head strong people and supple hearts. One of these days I am finally going to mail that letter to that person that could use cheering up. If you build it they will come only if you really want them to. I was writing to find a passage that would make sense to you. I was guessing that the world was actually the most beautiful color blue. She was never really trying to get my attention and lately I was not actually trying to get hers. There are a couple of ways we could do this but a love letter to no one in particular might be the most romantic. I was trying to become romantic again for no reason at all. I guess the world was trying to entertain a moment in time while I was trying to unwind my lessons on life. She was just hoping the world was going to behave but really that was not how it works. Sometimes the reasons we do things are more profound than the things we do, well most of the time actually. How often do the parties we throw turn out better than expected. I guess the world is trying to imagine a better day while I am just trying to imagine a new way to do the same thing all over again. For the first time I am trying to imagine a way to write this story the way I need to write this story. They said writing needed a problem to be the kind of writing people would want but I think this style of writing would do just fine. I wish I knew a formula that would be the writing style I could write forever but this will do for now. Do you ever just want to read writing so that you do not have to follow a plot, this will help you with that. Sometimes when you are trying to fathom the terror of your past you forget that it was just a memory and in that memory you can smoke some weed and forget it more easily than you thought you could the first time but honestly why would you want to forget it even though you want to and you are trying to and then you succeed but then it comes back and then you hit this weed and it all explodes into a pear that you are eating and trying to remember the reasons why you ever cared about anything because hey you have this apartment and a dog and a friend and a computer and are just working to build on something from this and honestly when it comes to writing its not what you write that counts it’s the fact that you do. So the moonshine was changing all through the atmosphere and one day the earth is going to write a love letter to the moon and the sun is going to get jealous and explode but the moon will write a love letter for the sun as the sun writes a love letter for earth as earth writes a love letter to the moon and then some kids will write love letters to the stars and the stars will write love letters to the black holes and the big bang will write a love letter to the end of time and somehow these love letters will change the way we view writing love letters because lately I have been wanting to write a love letter to no one in particular just because these days writing love letters makes more sense when twitter could be filled with the love that would love us loving love so here goes to love the love that we love to love as we love love for the sake of love as love is what love is supposed to be while we love love until love finally starts to love love again. I could be the challenger explosion recast as a dangerous liason with esoteric meaning that you forgot to have and I am duct taping my life together because I do not want a new life so in this life I am writing for all of the reasons that I could be writing and as I am writing I am changing the ways that I write so that I can write some more in this world that is more beautiful than a couple of starlets flying through the sky above the ocean near a beach in new jersey. I have seen the red tailed hawk and I have taken photographs of the gecko and I have seen the goats and I have taken my time to read the words of the people that wrote before me. I write with an intent to write for the reasons you could not remember but here I am writing for the reasons you could write with as I write for no reason to write for writing is the writing of the seasons of change and I might take the time to let you read this as I take it to kinkos one page at a time to read the reasons that you could change the seasons of time and my writing is special as it is supposed to be and one day I will write this and see what happens as kinkos may publish this or some other publishing arm and who knows how all of this is supposed to work out as I might take this into a language of writing you never knew existed and latex this writing with latex just to set it in points of light that could change the worlds that change the times of exchanges for no reason other than to change the words of worlds that could never be more to me than I could be for you as we are what we want to be as we are all that we are supposed to be in a world that is asking us to be more than we are in a moment than we are capable of being so we keep on becoming that which we are supposed to be to the people that are not what we think we want to be for children that want to be like us as we just want them to live in a world less confusing than we did because our lives were more confusing than difficult and maybe confusing is worse than difficult but who knows because none of this makes any sense but these kids seem to know what to do so hey, maybe we could do something nice for some kids and show them that yeah this world is going to make a lot more sense to you than it did for us and maybe you will find our flaws that we never knew we had and you won’t make our mistakes and maybe your kids will find your flaws and one day someone is going to think this thing is flawless but until they do just keep wearing diamonds to keep the world worth a wedding ceremony that we are always awaiting to have happen. I was interested in nirvana not that kind of nirvana yeah that kind of nirvana the kind that comes with flowers floating down from the sky as I could be the one that takes the reins let me see this again as I was changing like the emotions that I was supposed to be leaving behind because maybe something was supposed to happen to me but it really did not and if you don’t ask I wont tell and we can write the spells that the world works with for the times that the world is changing and I could be the messenger that lets you know its all good as I just gave a show to some young adults and maybe they don’t know who I am but that does not mean I don’t and for the rest of time I could be opening up letters from friends that wanted to write the way I write because who doesn’t want to write the way I write and really its something of a message in the sky to be talking like this but I could earn a living writing like this as I wrote a love letter to no one in particular and I just have to figure out how to publish this love letter to no one in particular because maybe the world is changing faster than I can keep up with and just how it is is just how it is and sometimes the people break easier than the wind does and maybe we never break we just become something that we were never meant to be as angels try and decipher the mind of a demon that is trying to change its ways because I am too old to be chasing anyone and you are too weak to be chasing me and I could just be writing the words that change the lives of the people that want to know how it all happened but they gave me too much time to forget the messages that could be found in the letters that I could write for you and in these letters there was me standing there not talking about anything in particular and quite honestly I am just writing a love letter to no one in particular and really the world is trying to remember me the way the world would like to remember me and if that means I have to sit down and let you know about this then maybe the world is trying to hard to look at me funny because you know I look at you funny and we look at each other funny and its hard to be unemployed when you have to find the time to be someone you are not and maybe if the people that write books were not trying to be someone they are not they could write like me because I live in a world surrounded by a white board that most people find as a limit but I find that situation limitless because then I grab my grease marker and get to adorning that white board with the grease markings that could be the kind of thing that leave behind the things we would have done if we were not in some research laboratory trying to find a reason to use this computer that CERN just droped on us and you know what I love to do with cern … I love to con cern until we concern ourselves with something more useful to do than pretend we ever needed this lovely unique CPU enabled piece of technology that they gave us for no reason at all and we just looked at them as they dared us to destroy ourselves on ourselves but then the poets came out and let everyone know they had nothing to worry about and in that lack of worrying about anything they had nothing to do other than stare at the world because even CERN is jealous of US and US do US like things like write the kinds of writings that make the world glow with astonishment as we keep coming closer to a public understanding of what it takes to be someone in this strange country that could use a make over by some poets that are training to refrain from destroying all the we hold dear so I am writing a love letter letter to no one in particular because wouldn’t you rather read this than a story about a man that had an enigma to solve and then he did and no one connected with the enigma was happy because honestly no one wants to see someone succeed when they are placing bets on not if he fails but how badly and this this writing shows up and we change the way we change the changes in the way we change and I could be trying to establish a connection with the last star fighter because I saw that arcade game there on that dusty movie set and I wanted to play it and why does he get to be the last star fighter and couldn’t I try and get a higher score than the last star fighter to play because I got scared when the sword went into the air and yeah I am the kind of writer that wants to say something and maybe you are the woman that wants to hear it and I could be the kind of man that changes your life and you could be the kind of woman that changes mine and through this egotistical exchange of letters I just want to let you know that love is in the air and as an adult we are supposed to let the children love while we make agreements about property and children but maybe I am younger than I look and maybe you are younger than you look and until I actually look old I am not actually just that and as I am writing to the back ends of the woods I am trying to establish a moment that could change my life for the rest of it as I prepare to let the moments of eternity find their ways through my veins as our red blood cells are worth forty trillion dollars each so keep count when they take your blood because our blood is expensive and your blood is expensive and my blood is expensive and each red blood cell is worth forty trillion dollars and maybe its worth pointing out that our over seeers that run for election are not worth the change they try and make because they are usually over seeing systems that never take into account things like twitter or facebook or google and the further into this document you go the further into my mainframe you are going to remember this and we are going to remember each other because through time writers make the moments that we all try and remember and one of these days I am going to try and enlighten a small butter fly and remind it that it used to be a caterpillar and it wont believe me but hey that’s fine with me. The other day I was breaking some rules when it came to writing trying to let the world realize that there are no rules when it comes to writing as the blank page is for you to be yourself as bravely as you can possibly be and this is going to find its way to the internet and maybe in that moment someone will remember me and through the escapades of enlightenment I am going to reestablish a connection with the people that want to be people like themselves who are trying to find a piece of meaning in this world that is worth a little more than a white castle hamburger and maybe a love letter to no one in particular will get the attention of some people that want to meet that man that writes like this for no reason at all. The ever present changes that make the world a place where we can meet and piece together the pieces of existence that we all have access to for no reason at all change the way I look at reality in a way you cannot understand unless you know about the same things that I do and yeah angels fall all the time for the men and women of this planet and really its cool to be the kind of person that changes the eternal struggles of a man into the writing that would rearrange the meanings of the words that we play with and maybe the people that make the world work are just trying to better themselves for no reason at all.

Not that it mattered …

Distance was walking through the forest. She had sort of wanted to follow a brook just to see where it went. She was interested in seeing if there was some shale she could bring home with herself. She was about ankle deep in the water when she started walking. It was just a small brook that was fun for her to play in. She had to be careful though because there was algae on the rocks which made it slick.

She saw that there were low hanging branches up ahead so she carefully stopped moving forward and decided instead to walk to the side and go around. She was alone.

She looked down and decided that she should take off her shoes but then something told her that she would be better off keeping them on as though Yes she would have better grip with her feet, but it was far more dangerous to go barefoot down this brook.

She was looking down the sides of the forest and she noticed that there were groups of gnats flying in almost spheres of activity just floating in the air. She turned her iPod off and decided to just listen to the forest itself.

She was walking further down the brook and she noticed that the water was about up to her knees now and she was kind of excited. It was her first time going down this path of water and she just wanted to see where it led, because she wanted some shale.

She walked further but as she was going further it was becoming more and more difficult to walk but the experience alone was interesting to her.

She looked down and actually saw a black fish swimming beside her. It just kind of followed her. She was a little taken aback.

So she splashed at it. It swam away and she didn’t think anything of it.

Then she walked a little bit further ahead and there were now two fishes on either side of her. One of them was black and the other three were silverish orange colors. She laughed a little to herself. Fish.

She decided not to splash these fish. It would take away the fun of watching what they did. She kept walking.

Up ahead there was a small waterfall. That was probably where she would find her shale.

She noticed that the water had gone up to her thighs and the four fish had now become about eight and there were two purple fish and a yellow one and a green one.

She had never seen a green fish.

Distance was now noticing that up ahead she could hear the sound of what sounded like an actual waterfall. She thought to herself that maybe she should turn back. The fish were up ahead of her now and they were sort of slowly forming a wall.

Distance thought to herself.

Maybe this would be a good time to turn back.

So she turns around and starts to go back to camp. Thinking to herself that quite possibly there was shale in the other direction up stream, as opposed to down stream.

She takes a look over her shoulder and because she can hear what sounds like heavy water flow. She considers for a brief second that the forest is more magical than she can imagine so in that she is going to for once just pay attention to something. Like some fish.

Well she gets herself going upstream a bit and she notices that the water is receding down her leg and in so doing, she notices that her pants are slightly more wet than she would imagine.

The fish that were following her in a group have been replaced by the single black fish.

It does a little jump out of the water and Distance notices that it has a silver line down its back.

She likes the black fish.

Distance stops walking.

The black fish stops swimming.

Distance takes a step to the side.

The black fish takes a step to the side with her.

Distance moves closer to the black fish and reaches out to touch it.

At that moment, she hears some of her friends calling for her.

Steven calls out to her. “Distance, how far down did you go down the brook?”

Distance says, “I went down to where the water was almost up to my waist.”

Steven and some other people look slightly worried.

“Distance, you just got up this morning and started walking, you could have gotten lost or worse.” said Jessica.

“I wanted to find some shale.” said Distance.

“We already collected some shale, we have plenty.” said Jeremy.

“There were some fish that let me know something.” said Distance.

“What?” said Steven.

“That , well , I might not have wanted the shale as badly as I thought.” said Distance.

“Okay, Distance. Yeah.” said Jeremy the one that was raised in the City.

Distance thought to herself. “I know exactly what I saw. The city really wouldn’t know much about the magic of the forest.”

So Distance rejoined her group. She went and noticed that they had indeed found some shale without her. She did not know where.

Not that it mattered.

Steven Downloads a Dream

Steven was sitting at his desk as he had done for several years. He had just received a strange email. It informed him that he had just won a very special lottery and that no further correspondence would be levied. He thought nothing of it. Then a man walked over to his cubicle and handed him an envelope. In that envelope was a piece of plastic that bore no number on it. It had a red crest and bore his name. The man that Steven had never seen before shook his hand and walked away. Steven put the card in his wallet.

He had no idea what he now had. He just knew that apparently it was special. His boss asked him who the man that gave him the card was. Steven simply said he really did not say anything and just gave him the card. His boss asked if he could see what was in the envelope and Steven quietly responded that he did not think it would be a good idea.

Steven finished out his work schedule and stood there waiting for the bus. As the bus approached Steven reached into his wallet and pulled out his bus card. He walked onto the bus and gave the bus card to the bus driver and was allowed to step onto the bus.

Steven sat down and opened up the window. He felt the breeze that was generated by the moving bus moving through his hair. He just enjoyed the way it felt. Steven had a feeling that he knew what the Card was but due to a significant lack of explanation that came with the Card he felt no real interest in possibly putting himself in any form of strange debt or possibly even encountering a situation where he could be placed in a predicament that would cause him to have to return some products to the shelf. He just had the Card in his wallet and now he was on the bus.

His stop came up and he quietly walked off the bus. He walked across the sidewalk and into his apartment complex and then went up the stairs and opened his door. He took the card out of his wallet and placed it in the special files drawer of his apartment. Steven told himself that when someone further explains the significance of this Card he would take it more seriously and maybe even consider using it.

Well Steven sat down at his computer and pulled up a web page known as Pandora. He began to listen to the Preston Reed station, a station that he was informed existed after having listened to the Kaki King for several rotations.

Steven laid down on his bed and placed his Dream Catcher on his temples. He then faded off into the ether of sleep calmly.

Steven was now standing in a forest. He looked up at a greenish sky that had about fourteen large stars glowing up above him. He felt himself pressing his energy against the ground below him and through sheer understanding of what he was experiencing he propelled himself up into the heavens with nothing but a quiet thought. He was at his Constellation Point and in that Constellation Point he was actively doing more than floating, he was careening into the ether that was above him. He felt himself holding his breath that had no purpose in this realm that he was now comfortable with. He was used to this style of dreaming and he never once felt any way about purchasing a Dream Catcher.

Steven found himself wishing in his dream to cool off , so he did some imagining and flew up and through a small lake that he needed to pass through. He could feel the water flowing over his skin and through the process he felt refreshed.

He kept going higher and higher and in the process he was beginning to notice that the Suns that were floating in the sky were calmly beginning to morph into shapes like cubes and cones and toruses. He took a moment to relax and pull back. In this dream he felt calm. He was crafting his reality in front of him and just staring at his new play things. The stars that were above him. He coalesced his thoughts into a concept that was like the face of his long lost girlfriend that he met a long time ago. He was thinking to himself that upon seeing her face lit up by the stars he would have a moment that is really not possible. So he just sat there and then began to allow the face to morph into all of the faces of everyone that ever influenced his life.

He was staring at something like a Mount Rushmore made of light and in that light he was growing more comfortable. He decided that it was okay to turn around at this point and in that … he realized something. He had that card in his pocket that someone had given him. He pulled it out and the card was apparently made out of light at this point and in that card he saw something. He saw that something happened in his dream that he never noticed before. It was slightly more real. The card floated out of his hand and in front of him where it began to become a screen that was apparently embedded with a message.

A face appeared. This face was soft. This face was neither male nor female in appearance. It was simply a face. This face was the kind of face that allowed for one to just experience calmness. The face was explaining something to Steven. He was allowed to dream now. The restrictions that he never knew existed had been taken off of his account and that he could begin the process of selling his dreams to others. He was being allowed to understand that he was now a Dream Catcher Partner because he was adept at following the rules of the Dream.

Steven felt an emotion he had never felt before course through his body. He was quite certain it was a derivative of Love, an emotion he had only ever experienced briefly a couple of years ago. Love was such a dangerous emotion to Steven. In a way he wished he had never happened upon it.

So in this new found knowledge Steven had a thought, and that thought led the glowing orbs of shine in the sky above him to reverse in their color and then the sky that they were once object in became that which glowed.

Steven thought to himself. That’s new.

Well Steven , remembered in his youth being fascinated with the work of Berkley in California. He had called them several times to keep up personally on the progress of how the groundwork was being laid for their commercial product. He was actually excited by the possibility of being able to watch his Dreams in full HD Resolution in his waking state. He thought that of all that would be new, he would be interested in such a thing.

Well Steven, had a thought that he never had occur to him before. So he thought a thought that was never available to him before. He lightly concentrated on a new option. A small rectangle came up. He felt himself stopping the sequence of his dream. He reached his hand out and touched on the Oil button.

His next inclination was to engage in wiping his hand across what was ostensibly the ground below him. He could feel the colors morphing through his fingertips. He spun in a circle with his hands extended and in that spinning of the circle he saw something actually new happen. He saw the traces of color extending out from his hand.

Then he allowed himself to do something else that was new. He stepped out of himself and pulled all that he was in the center of down and into a point of focus. He placed that point of focus on his fingertip and rested.

He could see the fullness of this reality being pulled into a point and he just apparently went into camera mode and he held up his new hands in front of him with the right hand thumb down resting on his other hand that was thumb up and he pulled his now hands into his face and he captured a still.

He then thought to himself that this still was now available in a cloud somewhere that he could view at some point after this moment has passed.

Steven … was interested in this definitely new experience. He was used to running into certain walls in his imagination using the Dream Catcher Software and but now … he noticed that those limitations were in a state of disappearance. He was captivated by what he now saw.

In this reality … he felt like he wanted to experience a memory that he had a long time ago. He could feel the ability to fold back into his life and he was now resting in a movie theatre. He could understand his life with so much more etherealness at this moment. It was interesting to him to see his life pass before him in a resolution that he never had before.

He saw other people sitting in this theatre with him. He could feel an overarching emotion that was coarsing through the moment that was slightly unpleasant. He was watching his life turned into a music video that was playing sounds he had never heard before.

Steven, felt small.

He then found himself behind the counter of a pop corn bar where he was serving popcorn with an old friend from a place he never knew he would ever remember. The man he was serving pop corn with got up and walked over to the landing of the theatre and began performing a stand up comedy routine. Steven smiled.

He then found himself sitting on the front porch of his boyhood home … staring at something he never saw before. He focused for a brief moment and saw Dominic on the front porch planting two trees. He just watched as the trees grew and how Dominic was waving at for him to come over to the front porch.

Steven did and in doing so, he saw Dominic’s White Tank Top all over again. He saw Phyllis and Mr. Gehring and he was in a state of pure reminisce and then he saw as the tree was growing he saw the people watching the trees grow with him

Dominic let him know, that its rare that someone would live somewhere so long that they would notice the trees growing.

Steven was now sitting in a design classroom and he was having explained to him the new rules for this new Dream Catcher realm and Steven was just absorbing.

Then Steven woke up.

He looked over to his side and found himself a small circular disc that had never existed before.

He placed the disc in his Dell Computer, that was attached to a monitor that was now the ceiling of his apartment. He was awake now. Loving his new ceiling mounted HD monitor that had been crafted using polymers that he knew nothing about.

He walked over to his special files drawer and pulled out the card. It was hard plastic. He bent it and it would not break. He placed it back in his drawer and closed the drawer.

He had truly won a lottery that no one had even told him he had entered.

Teaching a Computer to Read …

George was just standing there smiling in the doorway to his son’s bedroom. The door was slightly closed and he was just checking up on Stephen. George was just surprised is all because apparently Stephen had a copy of the house’s dictionary in his lap. In front of Stephen was his first computer. Stephen was in the act of teaching his computer English. Stephen had a copy of a Webster’s Dictionary and for a reason that George could not understand Stephen was typing each word from the dictionary into the word processor meticulously one after the other. Now George was just watching. George stood there for a full fifteen minutes just to make certain that what he was watching as he thought for certain that his son was engaged in teaching himself to type and was trying to learn new vocabulary words.

George then knocks on the door.

Stephen looks over and says for George to come in. His dad.

George walks over some toys and into Stephen’s room and asks a question that he truly knows he knows the answer to as what else could Stephen be doing other than learning how to type as he chose words from the dictionary to type into Microsoft Word.

So George politely asks.

“Stephen, what are you doing?” asked George.

Stephen replies quite seriously.

“Dad, I am teaching my computer.” said Stephen.

“What are you teaching it?” replied George.

“I am teaching it how to read.” said Stephen.

“Don’t you think your computer already knows how to read?” said George.

“How could it, no one has ever taken the time to teach it.” said Stephen.

“How long have you been doing this?” said George.

“All afternoon.” said Stephen.

“How are you teaching your computer to read?” asked George.

“I am picking out the really hard words that the computer does not know from the dictionary and I am typing them so that when it has to pass its next test it will get an A+.” replied Stephen.

“Steven, maybe I should tell you, I mean, well, how many words have you taught the computer so far?” asked George.

“About forty six.” replied Stephen.

“How do you know the computer is learning?” replied Stephen.

“Well when I used spell check the computer let me know that it did not know all of the words. I want my computer to know all of the words. I want a smart computer so it can pass it’s next test.” said Stephen.

“How did the computer do on it’s last test?” asked George.

“It failed.” said Stephen.

“Who was the teacher that gave the test?” said George.

“Lynda.” said Stephen.

“Who is Lynda.” asked George.

“Lynda is my computer’s teacher.” said Stephen.

“Stephen, how many words are you going to teach your computer?” asked George.

“I am going to teach it all of the hard words and then it should be fine on it’s next test.” said Stephen.

“Do you want some help, I think I know a quick way of teaching it all of the hard words.” replied George.

“NO! There is no quick way to learn all of the hard words. I want my computer to get an A+ and you cannot get A+’s by cheating, this is the only way to do it.” said Stephen.

“That’s true , you are doing it the right way.” said George.

“Alright, well Dad. My computer wants to let you know that it wants to get back to studying.” said Stephen.

“Alright. Well I will leave you two alone. Just make sure to clean up for dinner.” said George.

“I will.” said Stephen.

George turns his back to walk away.

“Dad, did you know the computer already knows all of the words?” said Stephen.

“Yes Stephen. I knew that.” said George.

“Well, it might not know one of em.” said Stephen.

“Well if there is a word that that computer does not know, its probably in the dictionary. There are so many words in the dictionary Stephen that I am certain it does not know a few of em.” said George.

“Well, if I can help it learn one word, it will be smarter than the rest of the class won’t it?” said Stephen.

“Yes Stephen, if you can teach the computer just one word it does not already know, it will be smarter than the rest of the computers.” said George.

“Alright, Dad, I have to get back to work. The computer is really good at spelling.” said Stephen.

“It usually is.” said George.

“Well, I am doing a good job aren’t I.” said Stephen.

“Yes you are, I am certain the computer appreciates someone teaching it new words.” said George.

“I hope so.” said Stephen.

“Alright, well I am going to go back downstairs. Let me know how your student does on the test.” said George.

“Its going to get an A+.” said Stephen.

“Yes it will Stephen, yes it will.” said George.

“Thanks Dad.” said Stephen.

“Anytime son.” said George.

With that George walked out of the room , kind of realizing that sometimes things are not quite as they seem on the surface, especially when it comes to kids using the computer.

Seven Things Performance Teaches You … Edited Down and Published in Thought Catalog by Thought Catalog this is the Original Version …

7 Things Performing at an Open Mic Teaches You

One: Being the center of attention can be extremely cool, fun, rewarding, and invigorating. When you are at the open mic and you are performing for a group of people at your local club you become something that you were not before. You become your best person and you become filled with confidence. When you are performing hot pieces of poetry at the slam competition you are at you become peaceful and serene and you fall in love with the idea that people are really listening to you. That is what makes it cool, fun, rewarding, and invigorating.

Two: Being yourself and speaking your piece is the most important thing. It does not hurt to speak from the depths of your heart and to fasten yourself to a thought that you can then share with the world at large. When you are performing your writing that you crafted yourself that is your moment to shine and when you come to find out that when you are being the truest form of yourself that even that person is embraced by an audience. That is the whole reason to go.

Three: Not caring about what people think begins at open mics. I was booed a couple times for my work and I learned it does not hurt to express yourself in a way that people object to and as people were booing me other people were cheering. Its chaos at an open mic but you learn to feel a form of energy that comes out of yourself and when you are just on the edge of your consciousness freestyling poetry and not knowing what you are going to say next in front of a group of people its excitement and more nourishing for the soul than sitting at home and watching television in my opinion.

Four: Peeking behind the curtains of entertainment begins at open mics if you go to enough shows. If you spend time at a solid show that brings in dozens if not hundreds of people over the months of being a regular open mic show that books talent and that attracts community you can get a pretty good understanding of how the entertainment industry works and then once you have that understanding, you can see through the hype of the smoke and mirrors of the quote unquote celebrity. There is a lot of posturing that goes into celebrity and performing at an open mic helps you care a lot less about the current state of celebrity that is reported on TMZ and Entertainment Tonight and it draws you more into your community and the people around you. All things being equal your best friend is as talented as the winner American Idol and that in fact American Idol is in fact a devout style of open mic … the Slam. Your friend is as talented as the people on television and you are too.

Five: You learn hand to hand business and how to handle transactions and freeloaders. You learn doorman skills at an open mic. You learn that if you do not take the money from their hands they will try and get to the hot show without paying. You learn that most people are cool about paying but some people feel that they are connected to the show even though they are audience members and it’s the audience members that feel that they are part of the show that cause the most problems. Performers make the show and the audience participates by paying to be entertained. That’s the deal. It pays to remember that at that door.

Six: Amazing long lasting friendships are fostered at community driven open mics. You meet some amazing people at a regular open mic and it’s cool to see how people have their own voices and facets to their personalities that come out at open mics. Drinks and tea and the fact that you never know what you are going to hear at an open mic that is the center of the city’s consciousness is invigorating and there is a great amount of comradery at the open mic that just cannot be found anywhere else.

Seven and Lastly: I will never understand why my local church that I was raised in never had an open mic, it seems fair to let the community speak to the community than to have the same person doing the sermon every week. I learned this and maybe you would too if you attended an open mic for enough weeks is that the open mic ceremony while much maligned is a more balanced ceremony for society than the leader driven church model most people are currently aware of and participating in. The world would be much more confident if more people spent more time spending more time speaking in front of more people. I learned that.

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i do actually i think of my 70 year old parents and how i can be reduced to nothing quickly and like my entire network can collapse quickly in the face of like if i get the plague and then accidentally give it to my mom and she dies and then my dad gets sick from taking care of her and i hate that i can’t stay in my apartment 24 hours a day and i should be able to because i’m on disability but i have to get groceries and i can’t ask my ma to get groceries for me i go in an do that and i had my mask this last week and i don’t connect with my pops enough and he has lost his hearing and they’re getting there and i’m not strong enough to mow the lawn i don’t have the endurance anymore at 39 and i can’t learn to use a riding mower it’s too difficult and my folks just sold my grandmothers home because she died and i have two dogs that are losing teeth at my folks place and they’re dying and like two dogs and two parents are old enough to die any minute and i stop by bout every week to say hi and i don’t know what to do i can’t fold myself onto my parents and enmesh my soul with theirs to let them know i love them it’s like there’s not enough i can do to let my folks know i love them as they are leaving this world

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