I started on a book or rather a page of some kind … I’ll be fucking with it for the next couple months I’m in no hurry … I had dreams of being a published author and then I looked at the internet one day and was like alright i’m a published author i have dreams of getting paid for this one day … i’m sort of experienced at being published and in being published i have found the most noteworthy element of being published is irrational fear … fear of publishing self identifying information fear of random people having a problem with that curse word you used to the other day fear of being mistaken for being racist and accosted for that fear of someone you KNOW reading your writing and feeling the need to look you up … irrational fear is the hallmark of being published to me and when i say i am experienced at being published it’s because i’m experiencing with dealing with that
is this really contact the president? or is this like write a letter to CNN or an office? because I figure I just had a night where I drank a lot of tea and didn’t know tea would do that so I’m sorry for writing you while drinking lipton i had like 5 glasses of tea in the span of 4 hours and i didn’t know lipton could be used as a drug of sorts but i am fairly certain tea has medicinal properties and i forget what i wrote you but i think one letter was probably off a little bit i just felt like writing you and i was a little more tense tonight than i typically am and i’m EVEN MORE sober from having not smoked weed i haven’t smoke weed in like 4 months and I notice there are LAYERS to not smoking weed that unravel themselves like layers of sobriety that unfurl themselves so i feel like a new man again today for like the 3rd time …. i’m really sorry if i offended or offput you at all for whatsoever any reason and this is as polite an apology as i think i should send i watch CNN so you’re typically on my mind
I was sitting in the Corona Virus surrounded by infection and I had a glass of Lipton Tea that was worth it’s weight in wheat. I had the conundrum of a million moons that were all coming at me to soon. Lately I had been feeling older. I had been feeling like I was of age that age the age you attain when you lived before. I was before before galactic shelack clack like I was a star attack and the world was rap a riddle inside this fiber glass reality that is chaotic conformity. I was leotard juice.
It was something of a dervish, I was whirling, a way to find the place we we were working. I had a place in my soul that was working I was girking. Took to writing skirmishes letting the world have it’s world. I was grotto von totto lotto winner extradorinaire. We had our sacred stare in our eyes. I was firefly. It was an extended poem I was ratterfy. In so much as there was a wanton moment to experience I was crafting a beautiful healing in my head space they took so much from me the people we can’t see.
Practice In Chronological Order in the RIGHT SIDE BAR FOR PROPER EFFECT or keep reading main column for daily up dates … basically click the CHRONO button to catch up or keep up with the main column to follow along
Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come. … But if your feelings of anxiety are extreme, last for longer than six months, and are interfering with your life, you may have an anxiety disorder.
I would think the way you are presenting the Numerical Data that statistics and realism are going to affect the hood differently than say the University where a university student sees 8.000/300,000,000 the neighborhood just sees 8,000 … a thought … comparatively speaking … make certain people get similar comparisons when it comes to data
truthfully earlier today i was nervous in my apartment of some military maneuvers occurring which would have waited for a situation like this to arise … i was afraid of the USA ARMY … engaging in maneuvers with an intent to gain position on an american population that had never been in this posture before … it just struck me how weak my military position became when it occurred to me i was restricted to quarters like everyone around me … it was a frightening thought … and then later in the day i had an anxiety which was a pressure where my heart was like i felt where my heart was and then my mother suggested to turn on the radio and i would feel better and I did and then I paced for 2 hours to lapse through the time period between when i woke up and when i would be going to bed and this is the kind of person that sends you emails … i’m sensitive and considered mentally ill … or rather unique enough that i won’t fit into society so i get disability … i do try to make myself useful in terms of intelligence taking into account if i am mentally ill then my thoughts are typically unique … that’s all for right now … i wrote the governor of ohio to see if he would pay $400 a month for some historical writing to be done which almost maxes out my pay scale for “has mental illness” … thought i could make a pitch for a small modicum of monies to be transferred to me from Ohio which would afford me a vehicle in exchange for historical quality writing … which is really any quality writing really …. and maybe some pondering like Does Uncle Sam have an ability to print a letter like this on the receiving end? an amount of creative transformative thinking to go with it …